


mirrors

by sapphicirene



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt and comfort, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, comic relief college student siyoo, everything is complex when you're milf4milf, if "what cloud are the milfs on" was a fic, its about the complexities of life/love that come with being a mom, jibo as moms, minji taking one look at bora and thinking "i know this woman could fix me", this is not about family dynamics, you gotta work for the fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:54:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29816322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicirene/pseuds/sapphicirene
Summary: kim minji has it all: a big house, a perfect family, a name spoken with reverence and envy... she's everything a suburban mom wishes they could be. and bora sees right through her.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Minji | JiU, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 77
Kudos: 222





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> **this fic is COMPLETE! ill be uploading a chapter every week to the day that this first one goes out.. ty! hehe**
> 
> this fic has been the longest thing ive ever written, and has the most effort and love ive ever poured into a work.. i hope that is abundantly clear. ive been teasing this on twitter for so long so im so glad to finally get it out into the world. i hope you guys love it as much as i do...
> 
> also a special thanks to:  
> -cynth, who encouraged me during the very beginnings and graced me with wonderful wonderful reactions that helped spur me on to keep writing, so thank you..  
> -rom, who is my "emotional support hag" and the mastermind behind most of the siyooisms in here and who i love so dearly...  
> -nina, who is always my faithful first reader who i love endlessly for,  
> -and BOOFY!!! MY WONDERFUL BOOFY EDITOR IN CHIEF! words cannot do justice the amount of love and care i felt entrusting you with this, and i have never ever been able to indulge in talking about my writing as much as you have let me, on top of the gorgeous comments and praise and seriously. thank you. it means the world.
> 
> sorry for this INSANELY long authors note but i am so unreasonably attached to this fic and this is me giving it the kiss of good luck before you all read so.... FINALLY... enjoy!!!

It’s quite pathetic that one of the few comforts Bora finds in life sits at the bottom of a Grande, no whip, three pump mocha. It’s a sad fact of life, but one she’s made her peace with.

She tilts up the drink to get out the last drop and puts the now empty cup back in the cupholder of her sedan. Her foot bounces— from anxiety or the caffeine she’s not sure— as she stares at the house she’s pulled up to. It’s one of those picture perfect suburban homes: two stories with stone staccatoed up the sides and Bora can tell they had just gotten the roof done. The front of the house is marked by immaculately tended foliage, trimmed and bright and green and _wow_ they must spend a fortune on their home. It’s almost unsettling, like everything was _too_ perfect.

Her eyebrows raise as she looks at the other minor features, focusing on the grass that was so carefully trimmed that it sat squarely along the bricks that meandered up to the front door, where a name placard sat squarely in the center of the white door: Kim. 

Bora’s only been in town for a couple of months, but the talk that surrounds that family is nothing less than legend. No one speaks much of her husband, but Kim Minji is quite the vision. She’s the mom everyone wants to be, the one that volunteers at all the school events, is successful at her job at the bank, has a happy marriage and a healthy kid, and still finds time at the end of her week to host a book club: the very one Bora is about to walk into right now.

Handong had invited her at first. Bora thought it was odd that her kid’s old music teacher had invited her to, well, an event that she wasn’t hosting in the first place, but she had convinced her after a while.

Bora, when she was new to town, found a world of enjoyment in emailing Handong under the guise of checking on Gahyeon’s grades. They became fast friends but couldn’t really hang out, just because Bora insisted on being professional, but it’s a new year now and Gahyeon has a new teacher, so they finally get to be _real_ friends. It’s nice. Bora is pretty sick of the gossip and pointed stares that come along with being a single mother, but Handong seems to care about none of that.

  
Even now, she’s not the type to ask how Bora is feeling about going to this meeting for the first time, just what kind of coffee creamer she likes. Handong is soothing in a different way, that she seems to be eager to distract Bora from the nerves rather than draw attention to them.

(She texts her back to say Hazelnut, and Handong replies that she’ll hoard it from the other book club members until Bora gets there. Not that she needs more coffee, but something to sip on does a lot to soothe her nerves.)

She lets out a sigh and tidies her belongings for a moment before grabbing her purse and stepping out of the car. Her heels make melodies against the brick as she carefully walks up the long driveway up to the front door. There’s an elegant knocker on the door and a video doorbell off on the side wall, and despite either looking like a viable option, Bora prefers to indulge her inner child and dramatically hit the metal of the knocker on it’s holder.

She smiles to herself for a moment, reveling in the satisfaction that came from it, before the door opens.

She’s taller than Bora remembers, though she really _had_ only seen her a couple of times. Her brunette hair is shiny and well taken care of and cascades down her frame elegantly. She’s wearing an off the shoulder white blouse dotted with little cherries, and Bora’s eye is immediately drawn to her defined collarbones. She’s beautiful, well put together, and _god_ does she smell good. Bora’s eyes travel back to hers, and Bora feels her heart jump in her throat when she sees how kindly Minji, _Kim Minji_ , is looking at her.

Her gaze feels like the first rays of sunlight in the morning, completely enveloping and full-body warming. 

“Hi.” It’s soft, and she’s tired. Bora can hear it. “Bora, right? Gahyeon’s mom?”

Bora smiles at her. “Yeah, you're Yeri’s mom?”

Minji smiles back, and it’s like the whole world stops. Blindingly bright and sincere and Bora finally understands why no one _ever_ shuts the fuck up about her. 

“Yeah, she’s a handful sometimes but I’d do anything for her.”

“That’s what being a mom is all about, right? Aside from the constant backache and caffeine dependency, of course.”

Minji laughs, and her eyes shut just a little when she does so. It’s cute. “Can’t forget the three hours of sleep, too.”

Bora laughs with her. “Obviously.”

There’s a silence that settles, one that’s only present because Minji and Bora can’t stop smiling at each other. Minji bites her bottom lip before she raises her eyebrows.

“Oh my god, sorry. Come in!”

There’s a faint pink that tints her cheeks and Bora smiles at the sight of it, but holds her tongue on the flirty comment that threatens to come out.

_Just because you’re not married-_ Bora scolds herself.

“Can I show you around?”

“Yeah! Your house is gorgeous, Minji. Did you two just get the roof redone?”

Minji lets out an excited gasp. “We did! I’m so glad you noticed.”

Bora is observant, that’s for sure. She steps one foot into the house and notices just how _clean_ it is, like it’s not even lived in. The decor is gorgeous, and the living room is dotted with various people sitting on deep brown couches, ones that look like they haven’t ever been touched before. Even the throw pillows look too meticulously placed. Bora looks to her right, at the table in the foyer, and there’s a single family portrait. 

Minji is separate from her husband, a rather unassuming looking man, and they each hold one of Yeri’s hands. Minji is looking at Yeri, a wide grin on her face, as is her husband. Bora makes a quick note of that, that their family picture looks like it’s barely held together, a courtesy even.

“Cute picture.” Bora says, motioning her head to the frame.

Minji, for a moment, has a weary expression on her face, one that she quickly replaces with forced happiness.

“Thank you! Yeri was so cute there, but she was giving the photographer such a hard time, that poor woman.”

Bora hums. “I know the feeling.”

Minji smiles, and it’s genuine again. “You can follow me if you want.”

Bora obliges and waves politely to the women gathered in the living room before Minji leads her into the kitchen. It’s incredibly spacious and extravagant, the marble countertops spotless as Minji leans against them on the kitchen island. 

On the kitchen table there’s a spread of finger foods and the holy grail— coffee.

Bora’s eyes dart to the small dispenser and Minji picks up on it immediately, and laughs.

“You really need more coffee? You’re shaking like a leaf already.” Minji quips.

“That’s just because you’re making me nervous.” It’s not entirely a lie, and Bora shoots her a smirk.

“And why is that? Am I not a good host?”

“No, you’re just unbelievably pretty. And perfect. And your life is perfect.” Bora says. She raises her eyebrows at Minji, silently asking if she can help herself to the coffee, to which Minji nods.

Bora grabs a cup and starts dispensing the coffee, looking back at Minji expectantly.

“Well, thank you. I appreciate any compliments I get on my appearance, anymore. It sucks getting old, huh?”

(Bora notices that she avoids the implications of perfection entirely.)

“I think there’s some nice parts to it.” Bora replies. She searches for some creamer, only to realize Handong had probably pilfered it earlier, true to her words as always. Bora takes a sip of the coffee and smiles. “Like getting called a milf.”

Minji laughs incredibly loudly, her hand soaring to her face to cover her mouth. She looks around, making sure that no one had cared enough to comment on her outburst before lowering her hand and placing it on her hip.

“I believe it.”

“What, that I get called a milf?” 

Minji tilts her head, like she’s thinking about it. “Well, yeah. You’re gorgeous.”

Bora’s eyes go wide and she nearly chokes on her coffee. She feels the heat rising on her face immediately, embarrassed by how easily that had gotten to her.

“Thank you.” Bora manages, averting her eyes momentarily.

She looks back and swears Minji’s eyes were wandering over her but Minji’s gaze snaps back to Bora’s instantly, warm and kind as usual.

“Would you like to see the rest of the house, too?”

Bora isn’t too insistent on leaving Minji yet, so she nods. “Yeah, lead the way!”

Minji smiles at her and pushes off of the kitchen counter animatedly, bouncing on her heels before disappearing behind the corner. Bora follows, and the rest of the tour is rather uneventful. Bora is a nosy person, that’s for certain, but when Minji keeps her house so devoid of anything that makes it a _home_ , there’s not much to look out for.

It’s a little suspicious, but Bora lets the thought pass to focus on Minji.

“Here’s the master bedroom!” Minji says, opening the door to, again, an almost untouched looking room. Not barren, just unloved. 

Bora puts on the best face she can. “Wow! It’s gorgeous, I love the bay window.”

Minji smiles at her. “It’s great, I always sit there and read.”

“I would too, I’ve always wanted one.”

Minji smiles at her softly. “They’re an unnecessary luxury.”

“One I would appreciate in my house, though.”

Minji’s eyes seem to soften for a moment. “It’s not all it’s made out to be.” She pauses and her eyes open ever so slightly, and it seems like she’s trying to backpedal. “It gets super sweaty sitting in the window, I mean. Direct sunlight and all.”

Bora nods. “Yeah, I guess so.”

The silence is awkward, painfully so. Bora isn’t sure what to say, and she pokes her head in the room for just another second before Minji clears her throat rather weakly.

“I can show you the guest room and we can go down to the living room, I’m sure they’re waiting for us.”

“Waiting for _you_ , probably. I’m just the new milf in town.” Bora jokes.

Minji laughs, and Bora thinks she’d do anything to hear it again. Minji is so poised and _perfect_ but her laugh is anything but; it’s messy and loud and it makes Bora feel warm. 

Bora always takes first impressions with a grain of salt, but Minji’s reputation precedes her. She’s untouchable, yet manages to be kind and sweet to everyone she meets, like it’s effortless. Yet, even then, Bora knows she’s not all that the gossip makes her out to be, that there’s always more to the story, and Bora is already incredibly invested in hers.

Bora wants to know Minji. To know _her_ and what makes her tick and how she accomplishes all that she does, how at the end of being so _ideal_ , so universally liked, she’s still humble and down to earth and _funny_.

For a second, Bora thinks about how lucky her husband is. 

She doesn’t let herself dwell on that thought.

“You have competition then.” Minji walks towards the guest room, but stops in her tracks and turns around. “I mean me, by the way.”

Bora bites her lip so Minji doesn’t get the satisfaction of a laugh out of her. “Yeah, I’m well aware. You would not believe how much I’ve heard about you already.”

Minji raises her eyebrows and starts walking again. She doesn’t speak any further, and Bora wishes she could take back what she said, because judging by the look on her face, Minji looks a little uncomfortable at the mention.

She smiles at Bora, but it’s forced.

“And here is the guest bedroom!”

The room is significantly smaller than the master bedroom, but it looks like the coziest room in the house, the sheets just a little disheveled and covered by a multicolored quilt. There’s some more wall decor in this room, most of which looks like the work of a nine year old Matisse, if Bora was being extra observant.

“Did Yeri do those?”

Minji lights up again. “Yup! They’re from last year but I can’t help it, I just love everything she does.”

There’s a pause as they both inspect one of the drawings. Bora can’t help but feel a twinge at her heart as she thinks about all the drawings of Gahyeon’s that she’s plastered all over the fridge. She knows exactly what Minji is talking about.

“You seem like a great mom, Minji.”

“Thank you, Bora. I try.”

“Don’t we all? It’s hard.” Bora laughs pathetically. “I miss Gahyeon already, and I just dropped her off at the babysitter’s a half hour ago.

“I’m sure she misses you too, Bora.” Minji glances at her. “You seem like a good mom, too.”

“I hope so.”

Bora feels a prickle at the back of her throat, and suddenly the prying at Minji’s home life seems to have struck a nerve within herself too. The immediate karmic consequences of being nosy, Bora supposes.

“Alright well, we have a book to discuss and coffee to drink!” Minji says, waving Bora out of the room and closing the door behind them. 

  
“I’m just gonna grab something from the kitchen, feel free to sit in the living room with everyone else, okay? Make yourself comfortable.”

_How does anyone feel comfortable here?_ Bora thinks to herself.

“I will, thanks Minji!”

Bora sets off to the living room and Handong immediately waves her over, a devious smile on her face. Bora plops on the couch next to her and makes a comically loud groan.

“God, I’m so fucking exhausted Dongie.”

Handong sighs. “Hush. Oh, here by the way.” She says before reaching into the pocket of her cardigan. There’s a few tiny containers of the Hazelnut creamer she was promised.

“ _NICE_.” Bora says, grabbing them out of her hand violently. She opens the top of one and pours it into her lukewarm, half-full coffee. “Wait. Why does Minji even have these? Don’t they only use these at hotels and stuff like that?”

Handong laughs. “Yeah, I found these in the console of my car.” She smiles at Bora devilishly before shrugging. Bora whines and slaps her shoulder.

“Gross! I bet that’s been in there for years.”

“Yeah, probably. That’s what you get for leaving me alone here for so long!”

Bora rolls her eyes and sinks into the couch, which is rather stiff. “Minji was giving me the grand tour.”

“What an honor.” Handong says, sarcasm laced in her words. “We all got the tour, we were just on time and not late like _you_.”

“Gahyeon’s babysitter hadn’t gotten home yet! It’s not my fault.”

Handong shakes her head. “I can't believe you let that college kid take care of her.”

Bora tsks. “ _Hey._ Gahyeon’s getting older now, it’s not like she’s a toddler. And Yoohyeon is very capable. She sits there and does her homework and minds her business and as long as Gahyeon isn’t like, injured or unhappy, I think she’s doing a great job.”

“If that helps you sleep at night!”

“It does! Yoohyeon tires her out, they have fun together.”

Bora takes a sip of her coffee and shrugs. It doesn’t taste bad, car coffee creamer be damned. 

“By the way, what can I expect here?” 

Handong looks over at her with a raised brow. “I mean, it’s a book club, dumbass. What do you think is gonna happen? We read a book, and then we discuss it.”

Bora frowns. “You know what I meant.” She looks to the side quickly, at the other couches where unfamiliar women were chatting amongst themselves.

“Oh. I mean, nothing out of the ordinary I guess.” Handong leans in and whispers. “They’re all up Minji’s ass, though. All trying to get on her good side.”

“That can’t be too hard, no?”

Handong laughs. “You’d be surprised. She’s sweet but she keeps to herself, mostly. She hates the gossip.”

“Yeah, I mentioned it and she kinda froze.”

“Well _why_ would you mention it?”

Bora shrugs. “I dunno, it’s weird to see everyone calling her so perfect and everything.”

“Doesn’t she seem it though?” Handong challenges.

“She does, and that’s exactly how I know she isn’t.”

Handong hums. “Well, why are you so interested?”

Bora doesn’t have an answer. Some of it draws from personal experience, some of it the air of grandeur and mystery surrounding Minji, and some of it from the gentle scrunch of her eyes and how kind her smile was. Minji interests her. Plain and simple. 

Bora shrugs again. “Have you ever had a friend crush? I just wanna get to know her better. It would be nice to have another mom friend.”

Handong rolls her eyes. “Yeah, cause so far your friends here are-” she starts counting on her fingers, “-your daughter’s old music teacher, your nine year old daughter, and your daughter’s college-aged babysitter.”

Bora rolls her eyes. “And that list is gonna get smaller if you keep being an ass.”

“You know I love you.”

“Whatever, whatever. What book are we supposed to have read by now?”

Handong scoffs. “Bora, my god. I texted you what book it was the other day.”

“And? I’m a busy woman, I don’t have time to read my texts all day.”

“But you have time after work to come to a book club meeting, where you're expected to have read not only your text messages, but a _book_?”

“Yeah.”

Handong lets out a deep sigh and collects herself before speaking again.

“Well the novel is _Ethan Frome_. We’ve only read a bit of it so far, so you can catch up.”

“Okay, I’ll just have to pretend and keep up. It worked in college so it should work here!”

Handong laughs. “Yeah, you’ll be fine.”

A few more minutes pass, and Minji finally returns from the kitchen holding a copy of a rather thin novel (one that has little note flags sticking out of the top) and a cup of coffee. She settles at the chair at the head of the room and everyone goes silent. Her presence in the room is unreal. Commanding, even.

“Hi ladies! I hope you all had a nice week.” She stops to open her book. “We’ve only read the first two chapters, right? Does anyone want to start?”

Someone Bora doesn’t recognize speaks up.

“Yeah! I’ll start. I think it’s really interesting that Ethan is so clearly unhappy with his situation, and that the narrator sets the scene perfectly. It’s clear we know where things are going-”

Someone on the other side of the room interrupts. “Actually, I think there’s a lot we have yet to see. Ethan is definitely unhappy with his marriage, but the whole situation with him clearly being interested in his wife’s caretaker is quite despicable to say the least.”

“And why is that?” Bora speaks up. 

She hasn’t read the novel, of course, but she doesn’t like the way that sneering woman talks about anything, really, nonetheless something involving clearly complex feelings.

“He’s a married man, and therefore needs to be loyal to his wife.”

_Oh brother._

“You can be loyal to someone and have conflicting feelings, sorry- what’s your name?”

“Irene.”

“Okay, Irene. I know it’s a novel, but I know there has to have been a time you’ve been pressured or trapped into something you didn’t want. Clearly, that’s what's going on here. I think, especially because it’s so early into the novel, we should wait to see what’s going to develop. Not everything is as simple as it may seem.”

Irene seems to back down a bit and nods, and Bora is just surprised she managed to bullshit that well with what little context she had been given.

“You’re right, maybe I was being too harsh.” Irene concedes. 

“It’s good to have a discussion and be open-minded. That’s why we’re all here, right?” She pauses, and looks around the room. “I’m Bora, by the way.”

There’s a chorus of greetings around the room and the charged atmosphere seems to slip away already. Bora looks to Minji, and she looks back at her with raised eyebrows.

The rest of the discussion goes by quickly, because Bora pays more attention swirling around the last sip of her coffee than to the rather dull and repetitive takes the women around the room offer about the first few chapters of the novel.

Eventually, everyone gets up to leave, and Bora goes to throw away her trash in the kitchen before she hears her name being called.

“Bora?” It’s Minji.

Bora stops in place and turns to face her. The room is bustling, so their conversation seems to fade within the others. Minji leans closer and looks around, like she’s about to tell a secret, before speaking again.

“I’ve never seen Irene back down to someone like that. You’re crazy.”

“Hmm? I don’t understand.”

Minji scoffs. “She’s like, the one person that never has a single word spoken against her, and you did and she _agreed_ with you. Quite the feat.”

Bora shrugs. “She was being a little obtuse. I didn’t even read the book yet and I know that.”

Minji furrows her eyebrows. “You didn’t read it yet?”

“I’m busy! I’ll read it soon.”

The corners of Minji’s lips tug up. “I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t even know me!” Bora scoffs.

“Not yet.” Minji pauses. “How about you come over sometime and we can sit in the window and read together? So I can hold you accountable.”

Bora laughs. “I’ll think about it.”

(She’s thought about it, she wants to.)

“Just busy all the time with _mom_ stuff, ya know?”

Minji hums and nods. “You can bring Gahyeon over, if you’d like. I think her and Yeri are in the same grade, I’m sure they’ll get along.”

Bora smiles at her. “I’m sure they would. We can exchange numbers and talk about it more later, maybe? I miss my girl, I need to go see her before I explode.”

“Of course, here, I’ll put my number in your phone and you can text me whenever. You’re always welcome.”

Bora’s eyebrows raise as she hands her phone to Minji.

“You’re really offering that courtesy to a stranger?”

“I don’t want you to be one, is what I’m saying. You’re quite the character, Bora.”

Minji hands Bora her phone back and the way her slender fingers ghost over Bora’s own send jolts of electricity down her spine. It’s been a long time since that’s happened, it feels so foreign now.

“I feel the same way about you, Minji. I’d love to get to know you more.”

“I’m an open book.”

Bora narrows her eyes at her.

“I doubt that’s true.”

Minji smiles sadly. “It is, it’s just that no one cares to ask.”

Bora’s face is wiped clean of emotion. She’s about to stutter out a response when Minji continues talking.

“Hey, just text me later, yeah? I think we can work out some reading time this week.” She smiles at Bora. “Drive safe, okay?”

“Thanks again, Minji. I’ll see you soon.”

And in an instant, she’s gone and tending to her host duties.

Handong had left early, something about needing to watch the latest episode of the Bachelor, so Bora leaves Minji’s house on her own. She stares out at all the cars, they’ve thinned out noticeably since earlier, and the sun is about to set.

Bora looks back at the house, in all its upper-middle class glory. She wonders what that house must be like when everyone leaves, when it’s quiet and it’s just Minji and her family. The thought sends an uneasy pit to Bora’s stomach, so she continues walking to her car and sits in the driver’s seat. 

She sits there for a moment, tapping the wheel to busy her body with the equally busy thoughts in her mind. Minji really seems like even more of a mystery now, and it’s fogging up Bora’s mind. 

If anything, she leaves with more questions than she came with.

…

Bora doesn’t hear from Minji for a while. Not that she was looking forward to it, or anticipating a text, or double-checking her phone, not at all.

It’s the end of the week before she gets a text.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_Hey stranger! Was thinking about having a mimosa or two tomorrow while I read before book club next Tuesday, did you wanna join?_

Bora stops pushing her grocery cart to stare at her phone. She probably looks like an idiot smiling at her phone in front of the rows and rows of milk and dairy substitutes. 

“Mom?” Gahyeon asks.

Looks like she’d been staring too long.

“Oh, sorry. Just had to read something really quick.”

Gaheyon huffs before placing something in the cart.

“You’re being weird.”

Bora’s cheeks heat up at the accusation.

“You know what’s weird? The fact that I didn’t say anything about you putting those-” Bora leans forward to look in the cart, “- _cookies_ in there. Now hush!”

Bora reaches out to ruffle Gahyeon’s hair, who laughs in response.

“You wanna go pick out some milk for your cookies, hun?”

Gahyeon looks up at her with a toothy grin and nods, heading towards the adjacent fridge. Bora takes the opportunity to reply to Minji.

_Hi! Yeah, I’d love to! :) What time is good for you?_

_I’ll just need to talk to my kid’s babysitter real quick._

Minji is already typing.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_Of course. :) I’m thinking around 11?_

_I’m assuming you’re coming so… don’t let me down ;)_

Bora blinks as she stares at the message. Why the hell would she put a winky face? And why did it fluster her so much? Bora responds by heart-reacting the message and pocketing her phone.

“Hey, Gahyeonnie.”

“Mhm?”

“Do you wanna go hang out with Yoohyeon tomorrow? Do you know if she’s busy?”

Gahyeon’s lips tug up into a smile. “Yeah! And I don’t think so…” Her eyebrows furrow in concentration. “She was talking about a… a… something. She had work to do for class.”

“Oh, good. I’ll text her now and you two can do something tomorrow, okay?”

“Yay!”

Bora laughs as she pulls out her phone again, opening up to her text conversation with Yoohyeon.

_Hey twerp you need some pocket change?_

_Something came up for tomorrow and I would reeeeeallly appreciate if you could watch Gahyeon for me…._

**_Twerp_ **

_yea sure lol what time?_

_are u ever gonna stop calling me that btw_

_Around 11_

_I’ll stop calling you it when you stop being one!_

_Love you, thanks Yooh_

Bora smiles as she puts her phone away. It’s been a long time since she’s been so excited about doing something, nonetheless with urban legend Kim Minji. It’s hard for her to justify doing anything that doesn’t involve Gahyeon or her own work, and she probably wouldn’t have ever thought to ask Minji to hang out on her own. 

Maybe book club was a good idea.

…

Maybe book club was not a good idea.

Bora has already dropped off Gahyeon and she sits in her car, which is parked right at the head of Minji’s driveway. Her beautiful home is much more daunting when she’s the sole occupant.

Minji’s car is parked next to her, and Bora assumes her husband isn’t home because there’s no other car there. Weird. It _is_ a Saturday morning, after all.

Bora sighs and rests her forehead on the steering wheel, taking a deep breath before she sits back up. There was no reason she had to be so nervous, but something about being alone with Minji has her mind going haywire. She grabs her purse and checks to make sure that the untouched copy of _Ethan Frome_ sits at the top before checking her makeup in the mirror.

She opted for something a little more casual today, but she still spends an extra minute making sure her eyeliner looks fine and that her lipstick hasn’t smudged. Part of her feels like she _has_ to impress Minji, and the other part _wants_ to.

She takes one last deep breath and heads towards the front door, opting to ring the video doorbell today. Her finger presses into the button with a shake, and as she lets go, Minji’s voice emits from the device.

“Bora! Hi! I’ll be down in a second, honey.”

Bora just awkwardly coughs and nods at the camera (can she even see her?) and taps her shoes at the ground for a minute until the door swings open.

Minji’s hair is up in a large butterfly clip, exposing more of her neck and shoulders than the first time they had met. She has a light dusting of makeup on, and her glossy lips morph into a wide smile when she sees Bora.

“Hey! You made it!”

Bora smiles equally as wide and can’t help but feel giddy at the excitement Minji’s giving off. “I did, shocked I found the right house this time— without all the cars, you know.”

Minji laughs and waves Bora into the house, where she steps in and stands next to Minji in the foyer.

“Yeah, super busy here on book club days. No worries though, you have me all to yourself today!”

“Exactly what I wanted.” Bora shoots back. She freezes for a second when she realizes the implication of her comment, but it seems to roll off Minji with ease.

Minji shoots her a prideful grin and bats Bora’s shoulder.

“C’mon, we can go make our mimosas and then head upstairs.”

Bora nods and follows Minji into the kitchen, where there’s a few different kinds of orange juice and champagne sitting on the counter. For someone who settles for whatever alcohol she could find in the cabinets of her kitchen, this is a nice surprise.

“Jesus, Minji. How much do you think I drink?”

Minji looks back at her from where she’s currently tiptoeing up into one of the cabinets to grab champagne flutes. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and Bora grins when she notices the blush on her cheeks.

“I just wanted to make sure I had something you’d like.”

“That’s very considerate, thank you, but anything would have been fine.”

“But now you have a nice selection!” Minji replies, handing her a flute.

Bora smiles at her. “That much is true. I really need it, too.”

Minji picks out the first bottle on the table, and raises an eyebrow at Bora as if to ask if that was the kind she wanted. Bora nods and Minji pours a rather generous amount of champagne into her own glass, and then into Bora’s.

“Rough week?”

“No, alcohol just dulls the nerves.”

Minji scoffs. “Why do I make you so nervous?”

“We’ve had this conversation before, Minji.” Bora says.

She walks a little closer and inspects one of the containers of orange juice before topping up her own glass and Minji’s.

“I don’t bite, I promise.”

Bora huffs at her. “Hard to believe, Minji.” She’s about to add a flirty comment, something about putting her money where her mouth is, before Bora cuts off all brain activity like a circuit breaker. 

She _cannot_ be flirting with a married woman.

“To new friendship.” Bora says, raising her glass.

“To new friendship.” Minji echoes, clinking their glasses together before they both take a sip in unison.

Minji had put entirely too much champagne in her drink, but she would never _seriously_ complain, not when Minji looks so thrilled. Bora notices a stray drop of mimosa that sits on her lips, and tries not to stare but she does anyway.  
  
_Her lips look soft…_

“Is there something on my face?”

Bora’s eyes widen. “Oh, uh you have some-” she says, waving her finger in the vague direction of Minji’s lips.

“Oh!” 

Minji’s tongue darts out to lap up the stray drop, and Bora’s eyes follow her slightest movement like she’s entranced. 

“It’s good right?”

Bora takes another sip, using the distraction to think of a response that won’t totally incriminate her.

“Yeah! A little heavy on the champagne but great nonetheless.” Bora teases.

Minji scoffs and walks past her, heading for the stairs.

“Make it yourself next time then! C’mon, we have reading to do.” Minji says, looking behind her shoulder back at Bora to wink at her.

As Minji ascends the stairs, Bora has a hard time wrapping her head around what had just happened, so she takes another heavy sip of her drink. Bora really can’t tell if Minji is just an incorrigible flirt or if Bora’s just so starved of a beautiful woman’s affections that she’s interpreting it that way. Regardless, Bora shrugs it off and smiles to herself as she follows Minji up the stairs and into her master bedroom.

It’s just as eerily devoid of homeliness as Bora remembers, even Minji’s bubbly presence isn’t enough to lighten the room.

Minji sits on one side of the bay window, on a cushion she had put there, and she motions for Bora to sit on the vacant pillow. Bora sits with a groan, and leans her back against where the frame of the wall and window meet, mirroring Minji’s stance.

“Is your back sore?”

Bora nods and winces as she pulls her legs up onto the bench, her knees bent and feet flat on the warmth of the sun-kissed wood.

“I can give you the name of my masseuse, she’s really great.”

“Doubt I have the money to spare for that, so for now I’ll just have to get Gahyeon to rub those knots out for me.”

Minji laughs and takes a sip of her drink.

“Next time I go you can come with me, my treat.”

“I could never let you pay for me, but I really appreciate the offer.”

Minji shakes her head. “No way. It’s happening. Even if I have to kidnap you from work.”

“You don’t even know where I work!”

“You work at the ad agency downtown, right?”

Bora, in the middle of a sip, quickly gulps down her drink.

“How the _fuck_ did you know that?”

Minji laughs loudly and sets her glass aside. “I do my research.”

“I’m not as interesting as you, I promise.”

Minji winces at that, and Bora curses herself for bringing it up again. It’s just so hard to avoid when she’s so eager to learn more about Minji and when she feels so undeserving of her attention in the first place.

“Hey, I know that people talk about me a lot, okay? I just don’t want you to be one of them. Everyone thinks I’m perfect for some reason and it’s beyond exhausting.”

Bora nods, her expression softened. “Yeah, I understand and I’m sorry. I can’t speak for them, but for me it comes from a place of admiration. I think you’re really cool, and I just get a little nervous around you. I know you could be friends with anyone in this entire town, yet here we are.” 

Minji opens her mouth to speak but Bora’s word-vomit filter fails her for just a moment.

“I really wanna get to know you.”

Minji smiles softly at her. “Thank you for saying that, Bora. I’d love to get to know you more as well, I mean there’s a reason why you piqued my interest.”

“May I ask why?”

Minji grins. “I need another hot milf friend.”

Bora barks out a laugh and lightly kicks her shin. “You’re awful!”

Minji shoots her a devilish grin before continuing. 

“In all seriousness though, I like the way you carry yourself. I can tell you don’t let other people’s opinions affect you, I wish I was more like that.”

“I mean, when you’re a gay single mom you get used to people judging you.”

Bora distracts herself with another sip of her mimosa, and when she looks up from her glass she can’t help but notice the way Minji looks like she’s just been hit by a freight train, eyes wide and face completely tinted red.

“You’re-”

“A lesbian? Yeah.” Bora sets down her glass. “Please don’t tell me you’re homophobic…”

“NO! I’m not, I swear I just… you don’t… I just didn’t expect-”

“Oh, so I’m too hot to be gay?”

Minji’s face gets even more red, and she leans forward, her eyes the size of dinner plates.

“NO! I’m so sorry I don’t know what I’m saying I just-”

Bora cuts her off with a series of loud laughs, proud that she had finally made Minji flustered for once. Minji holds her head in her hands and tries to recover from the embarrassment as Bora tries to even out her breathing.

“Please, I would not be single right now if I was into men.”

Minji lifts her head up, but her face isn’t any less flushed than a few moments prior.

“I’m shocked you’re single at all.” Minji says, a hand on her forehead as she downs the rest of her mimosa in one gulp.

Bora doesn’t think she has the mental capacity to address what Minji had just said, so she waits for her to continue speaking. 

Minji lets out a sigh and shuts her eyes like she’s pained.

“Bora, I’m so sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean any harm or anything by it, there’s just no one around here that I know of that’s gay.”

“Well now you know someone, so cheers to that!” Bora pauses. “Actually, miss ‘Why are you nervous?’ you seem to be out of drink, huh?”

Minji rolls her eyes. “Let me go fix that. Give me yours, too.”

Bora obliges and hands her the champagne flute. “Why, thank you very much miss Kim.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be right back. Feel free to start reading.” Minji deadpans, and Bora laughs as she leaves the room.

She entertains the thought for a second, reaching down into her purse to pull out her copy of _Ethan Frome_ , yet the moment her fingers start to leaf through the pages she sighs and lays it aside. Feeling especially nosy, Bora leans forward and picks up Minji’s copy of her book, the one adorned with post-it notes and that actually looks like it’s been opened.

Bora flips through the book quickly, and tries to make sense of some of Minji’s color-coded annotations, but fails to gather anything meaningful. She continues to read through them until the door opens again and Minji walks back in with the mimosas.

“I didn’t mean read _my_ book.”

“You left it open to interpretation— not unlike the words of Wharton on page 23-”

Minji laughs her loud laugh before handing a glass to Bora again. Their fingers brush together and Bora feels any semblance of confidence shrink back into herself.

“Wow, you’re quite the scholar!”

“Yeah, a Kim Minji scholar.”

Minji stifles a laugh and settles back on the bench and lets her legs slide out towards Bora. The bay window is large enough for both of them to comfortably extend their legs, so Bora follows suit. 

“How much do we have to read for Tuesday?”

Minji hums and her gaze shifts upwards like she’s trying to recall the exact page.

“I think up to page forty?”

Bora lets out a groan.

“Oh my god, I actually have to read now. Quiet!”

Minji rolls her eyes and her foot reaches forward and hits Bora’s own.

_Footsie? NOW?_

“Are you fucking playing footsie with me?”

Minji responds by grinning and opening her book, completely ignoring Bora’s question as her foot continues to hit Bora’s own. Bora does her best to ignore it but when every other word she reads is interrupted by a soft hit against her foot, it’s impossible to focus.

She responds by sighing and letting her foot _slam_ against Minji’s. Hard.

Minji gasps and sets her book in her lap immediately.

“I have half a mind to come over there and beat you up.”

“Go ahead, you touch me and I’m calling it a hate crime!” Bora responds, hitting Minji’s foot against her own once more.

Minji shakes her head and returns to her book, but Bora can just barely see over the pages how her smile refuses to fade. They both calm a bit, getting more gentle as time goes on, but never once stopping their stupid game.

It’s comforting, in a way.

Bora is on page thirteen before she looks up again. Minji’s brow is furrowed in concentration, as are the other features of her face, all pulled inward as her eyes scan across the pages. She stops for a second to pull out a post-it, scribbling something on it before very carefully lining it up with the others and placing it in her book.

It’s early afternoon by now, and the sunlight shines into the room almost painfully. The sun compliments Minji perfectly, like it’s an extension of her features. Bora lets her eyes wander as she looks at the woman in front of her, whose feet move back and forth as she bites on a pen and reads. She’s nothing short of gorgeous, and Bora can’t seem to focus on her book when Minji is right in front of her.

She returns her gaze back to the pages of the book for a moment, trying to bully herself into paying attention. She ends up having to reread a single passage three separate times before processing it. Bora rolls her eyes at herself, and takes a deep swig of the mimosa.

“So who picked this book?”

Minji looks up, and a few strands of hair fall out of her butterfly clip.

“Oh, I think Handong did?”

Bora blinks at her. “Really? Dongie?”

“Yeah, you guys are close huh? That’s cute.”

Bora smiles. “Yeah, I think she’s awesome. She was the first person here that was super nice to me, so I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“Aww… Yeah, it’s so important to have friends like that, you know?”

Bora nods.

“Who is that for you? Who’s your Dongie?”

Minji looks up from her book and the slight paddling of feet comes to a halt. She smiles sadly at Bora.

“Oh… I’m not sure actually.”

“Hmm? But you host book club all the time and you’re always at the school, I mean-”

Minji sets down her book, closing it and picking up her drink to take a sip.

“Remember when I told you no one cares enough to ask?”

“Oh.”

Bora sets down her book and looks awkwardly out the window. She’s not sure how she didn’t notice before, but Minji’s backyard is spacious and idyllic. There’s a big pool and a wide, well-manicured lawn that _screams_ suburbia.

“Hey, I’ll be here to ask. I’m the Bora to your Minji. We toasted to new friendship, right?”

Minji smiles shyly. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“So, let me ask, how are you Minji?”

“Right now? Happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

Bora looks to Minji and can tell she’s not lying. Her eyes shine and her gentle features are even gentler. The piece of hair that escaped the clip sits on the side of her face, and the sunlight makes her look like a figment of Bora’s imagination.

If Minji wasn’t so insistent on not being perfect, Bora would have thought she was. Instead, she thinks she's just _Minji_ , which is even better.

“Me too, actually.” Bora admits, shooting Minji a smile. “But, how about in general?”

Minji barks out a rough laugh and takes a long swig of her drink.

“That’s for another time, I think.” She pauses to pick up her book again, not to read it, but her fingers seem to anxiously leaf through the pages. “And what about you?”

Bora hums. “I mean, this is one of the first times I’ve actually hung out with someone outside of my daughter’s social sphere so, I really enjoy that.”

Minji nods. “I get it. So she’s with your babysitter right now?”

“Yeah, some college kid next door is a sweetheart and they get along super well, thankfully. Where’s Yeri?”

Bora wanted to ask about her husband too, but holds her tongue.

“Out with her dad. They usually spend the weekends doing ‘bonding activities.’” Minji says with air quotes.

“I see. What’s your husband’s name? I don’t think I’ve met him.”

“Oh, it’s Jongin.”

Bora tries to read Minji’s expression, and she looks more uncomfortable than anything. Maybe she was pushing a little too far. Bora starts another game of footsie with her to try and salvage the mood, to which Minji immediately joins back in and the smile returns to her face— mission accomplished.

“You’re really pretty, Bora.”

Her eyes widen and Bora wishes her heart wouldn’t feel like it’s about to fly out of her chest.

“Where is that coming from?”

Minji shrugs. “You just are. You deserve to be told that, you know?”

“I think that’s the alcohol speaking.” Bora tries to deflect, because there’s no way _Minji_ thinks she’s pretty.

Minji smiles. “Well I’ve been thinking it since before the alcohol started flowing so I think now is as good a time as ever to tell you.”

“Oh.” Bora clears her throat. “Thank you, Minji.”

They both return to their books, and Bora tries her best to will away the very lasting blush on her cheeks, but she can’t stop thinking about what Minji had said.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice you staring at me earlier.”

Bora slams her book into her lap.

“No way.”

Minji tilts her head. “You aren’t the only observant one here. If you’re a Kim Minji scholar then I’m a Bora observer.”

Bora laughs and shakes her head. “You’re crazy.”

“Why don’t you just read instead of staring at me all day?”

“Maybe I could focus if you didn’t start a million games of footsie with me!”

“Do you want me to stop?” Her feet slow a bit to prove her point, to which Bora responds by smacking her foot against Minji’s.

“No.”

“Exactly what I thought.”

Bora rolls her eyes and they both end up paying attention to their novels for a half hour, mostly engrossed in the happenings of _Ethan Frome_ until Bora’s phone starts ringing— it’s Yoohyeon. She picks up the phone with a sigh.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“ _Bora I’m SO sorry but I forgot I have to do something in like an hour, is there any chance you can come pick up-”_

“No worries. I’ll be on my way in a few. Thanks Yooh, see you soon.”

Bora hangs up her phone and groans.

“Sorry, that was my babysitter. I have to go.”

“Oh of course, no worries. Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

Bora stands and stretches out the crick in her neck. She feels fine.

“Yeah, I think so. I’m sorry to leave so suddenly, but you understand right?”

“Mom stuff.”

“Mom stuff.” Bora agrees. “Thanks again for having me, Minji. I really meant it when I said this was the most fun I’ve had in a while.”

Bora and Minji walk out of her bedroom, and Minji’s hand finds a place on Bora’s lower back to lead her out of the room. It makes Bora feel like her soul leaves her body. 

“Let’s make it a regular thing then?” She seems a little unsure.

“I would love to.” Bora says, without a second thought.

They walk down the stairs and Bora can’t hide the wide grin on her face. She and Minji walk to the kitchen, and Bora helps her clean the champagne flutes before Minji escorts her to the front door.

“I’ll see you Tuesday, Bora.”

“See you then, Minji.”

Bora is about to leave, but she turns around because she feels like she’s missing something.

“Can I hug you?”

Minji looks shocked. “Oh, I mean, I would never say no…”

Bora grins and closes the distance between them to wrap Minji in a crushing hug. The older woman groans but starts to giggle as Bora squeezes her even tighter.

“You looked like you needed it.”

“Maybe I did.” Minji smiles shyly, and Bora feels triumphant upon seeing the flush of color in her cheeks.

“See you soon, Minji.”

She walks towards her car and just as she settles in the driver’s seat, she looks toward the front door, only to see Minji leaning against the frame, waiting for her to leave.

Bora starts to pull out, and waves at Minji, who still has a beaming smile on her face. Her heart jumps into her throat as she drives away, wondering what kind of spell had been cast on her in the confines of Minji’s home to have made her feel like a lovesick high schooler again.

…

With all the stresses of being a single mother, Bora’s days go by quickly, and before she knows it, it’s Tuesday again.

She’s just gotten home, her key in the front door when she hears an unfamiliar voice. It’s not unusual to come home to Yoohyeon hanging out, whether that’s to escape her parents or to babysit because she’s just a functioning part of Bora’s household at this point. The other voice behind the door? Not so much.

Bora puts down her bags of groceries and takeout (she always brings food for her girls when Yoohyeon is over to babysit) and opens the door.

“Hello?”

Bora hears a gasp that could only belong to the mystery woman, and Gahyeon comes barreling down the hallway to meet her.

“Hi Mom!”

“Hey sweetheart, how are you?”

Bora kneels down to give her a hug, and subtly checks to make sure she isn’t hurt or injured or-

“Hi.”

Bora looks up, and there’s another college-aged woman standing in her hallway. She’s got platinum blonde hair in a bob and she stands so rigidly that a stray gust of wind would probably topple her like a house of cards. She’s pretty, but it’s clear that she’s incredibly nervous, the blush on her face giving it away.

“Why are you in my house?”

The girl’s eyes go wide. She struggles to get a single word out, and conveniently for her, Yoohyeon walks out of the bathroom just as she’s about to speak.

“Oh my god.” Yoohyeon gasps. “Bora I-”

“You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

Bora doesn’t quite like the fact that a stranger was in her home and taking care of her daughter, but she does trust Yoohyeon quite a bit, so she’ll give it a pass for now, especially because Gahyeon seems happy and entertained and _safe_.

“We’re not- that’s not… She’s just my partner-”

Bora laughs and shakes her head.

“Is that what you kids call it these days?”

“MY PROJECT PARTNER!” Yoohyeon squeals.

Bora stands up and grabs her bags of groceries, and hands one to the mystery woman.

“Well, if you’re gonna be in my house after I come home from a long day at work you can at least do your share of the heavy lifting.”

The woman doesn’t say a single word, just nods in response and heads to the kitchen with every single last bag of groceries.

“C’mere you goofball.” Bora says, wrapping Gahyeon in another hug as they all congregate in the kitchen.

She leans in to whisper in her daughter’s ear. “Are you okay? Are you uncomfortable?” 

Bora pulls back to watch her expression, and she shakes her head with a smile. “No. Siyeon’s always here.” Conveniently, Gahyeon doesn’t bother to whisper her answer.

Bora looks over at the two culprits, who have equally guilty expressions clouding their features.

“Siyeon, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Bora hums and extends her hand out to her for a handshake, and she accepts. Her eyes are still wide and riddled with fear.

“Are your hands always this sweaty?”

“Yes.” Yoohyeon answers for her.

Siyeon shoots her a dirty look before returning her attention back to Bora.

“I’m really sorry, I thought you knew-”

Bora cuts her off with a wave of her hand. “It’s no big deal. Yoohyeon is like my other kid at this point so if she trusts you then so be it. And I know my _own_ kid wouldn’t lie to me, if she didn’t like you I would have been made aware a long time ago.”

Bora starts to put away the groceries, trying not to laugh as she hears Siyeon and Yoohyeon bickering quietly amongst themselves.

“ _I thought she knew!”_

_“I wasn’t gonna say anything, it was no big deal!”_

_“You’re babysitting her KID, I wouldn’t wanna leave my kid alone with a stranger.”_

“You know I can hear you two right?” Bora looks behind at them with a raised brow.

They both look at her and stop talking, still stiff as a plank.

“I said it’s fine. Really.” She nods her head over towards the bag of takeout on the counter. “Go crazy. Yooh and Gahyeonie I got what you guys always get, Siyeon let me know next time and you can get whatever.” 

“Thank you, Bora. That means a lot, seriously.” Siyeon says.

Bora hums and tiptoes up to put a box of cereal in a rather high cabinet and another thought comes to her.

“I mean, I’m not gonna pay you for staying here or babysitting, but feel free to help yourself to whatever while you’re here.”

The groceries all seem to be away now, and Bora is trying to gather her thoughts before she sets off for Minji’s. She shoves her keys into her purse and grabs the bottle of champagne she had gotten (as a token of appreciation, of course), and double checks that her book is in her bag.

“Alright, I’m gonna get going now. You three better behave. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, but I’ll keep you updated, okay?”

All three nod in unison, and Bora leans down to give Gahyeon one last hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Bye!”

Bora steps out of her home and into her car and starts the ever-so-familiar drive to Minji’s house.

…

The place is just as busy as the first week, though Bora thinks its markedly emptier without Handong’s presence. She weaves through the cars and finally makes her way to the front door, slamming on the knocker before standing back and waiting for the door to open.

Her heartbeat is in her ears just thinking about Minji: what she’s wearing today, what she’ll say to Bora when she sees her, _Minji in general_. The excitement is palpable, and she nervously toys with the foil on the champagne, waiting for the door to open and see her and-

“Welcome!”

Her husband opens the door. She recognizes him from the picture.

Everything she felt crushes in her chest, it feels like the nerves have migrated from her stomach up into her airway, choking out any last request for air she could manage. That was a rude awakening if she’s ever felt one before.

“Hi, I’m Bora.” She extends the bottle of champagne towards him, internally very resentful that she couldn’t have waited to give it to Minji without looking incredibly rude.

“Wow, I like you already! He laughs loudly and accepts the bottle. “I’m Jongin.” He extends his hand to shake, and Bora accepts reluctantly, a forced smile on her face. “Come on in.”

Bora obliges and steps in, feeling like she’s about to crawl out of her skin. It’s not his fault, of course, but she feels like the lovesick high-schooler within her was just crushed by a comically large piano falling from 30 stories above.

“You’re new, right?”

Bora nods.

“I’m sure Minji will make you feel right at home, I’ll let her know you’re here.”

He starts to walk away, but Bora interrupts him. “It’s alright! I’m sure she’s busy, I’ll catch up with her later.” Bora says, a strained smile on her face.

He nods and smiles at her, and brings the bottle into the kitchen.

Bora sighs and goes to sit on one of the vacant couches, not bothering to interact with anyone there. She pulls out her phone and pretends to be busy, looking through day old emails and browsing through Amazon for a while until she’s interrupted.

“Bora?”

She looks up at Minji, who is looking back at her with a beaming smile. She’s gorgeous as usual, wearing a flowy patterned dress that makes her look like a woodland fairy. Bora tries to choke down the infatuation at the back of her head.

“Hey.” She tries to hide her excitement, but it shows in the wide grin on her face.

Minji sits next to her on the couch and wraps her in a hug. She smells floral, something expensive for sure, but nothing too overbearing or strong. Bora hugs her back, hands resting on the small of her back as she shuts her eyes and lets herself enjoy the fleeting moment of closeness before Minji pulls away. 

“When did you get in?”

Bora checks her watch. “Maybe fifteen minutes ago?”

Minji tsks. “How come you didn’t tell me?”

_Because your husband opened the door and not you, and it made me realize how attractive you are and how fucked I am and-_

“Oh, I didn’t wanna bother you. I know you’re always busy with book club.”

Minji leans in and whispers into her ear. “Bora, if there’s anyone here that I _want_ to bother me, it’s you.”

She leans back and raises her eyebrows at her.

_Why does everything she says seem so flirty?_

“I’ll keep that in mind, Minji. How have you been?”

Minji scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Busy. You know how it is.”

“Oh I really do. You would not believe what happened to me today.”

Minji tilts her head and reclines against the couch, her elbow resting on the top of the cushion.

“What happened?”

Bora huffs. “I was dropping off groceries for Gahyeon and her babysitter, Yoohyeon, and I came home to some random college kid in my house.”

Minji gasps and her hand flies to her mouth.

“Oh my god, you’re serious?”

Bora laughs. “Yeah, the poor thing was terrified. I mean I wasn’t thrilled, but I trust Yoohyeon enough, so they’re all hanging out right now.”

Minji reaches over and rests a hand on her thigh. “You’re way too nice.”

Bora shrugs. “I remember what it was like being in college and needing money, so if they’re staying out of trouble and Gahyeon is fine I don’t mind.”

She tries not to pay attention to the way Minji’s fingertips start to move ever so slightly against her exposed skin, and fails pathetically. 

“You should bring them next time.”

Bora laughs. “No way in hell, this is my one day of the week I have some peace. As much as I love them, I need a break.”

Minji’s lips tug up ever so slightly. “Guess I’m not doing a good job, then.”

“At what?” Bora says, completely honestly, because she has not the slightest clue what Minji’s insinuating.

“I try to make your time in my home the least peaceful it can possibly be.” Minji lowers her voice. “Maybe I need to bother you a little more.” She hums as her fingers slide ever so slightly up Bora’s thigh.

Bora’s eyes go wide and her heart hammers against her chest. “Where’s your bathroom?”

Minji laughs so loudly that it draws the attention of the other people in the room, who were previously engrossed in their conversations.

“It’s just down the hall, first door on the left.” Minji says, gesturing towards one of the wide halls in her home.

Bora stands up immediately and grabs her phone, trying to make a beeline for the bathroom as quick as she can without drawing attention to herself. She closes the door and turns on the fan to drown out any noise as best she can before she pulls out her phone and calls Handong.

“ _Hello?”_

“Handong what the fuck is going on?”

“ _What the hell are you talking about? Calm down.”_

Bora’s hurried speaking lowers to a whisper. “Dongie, Minji is hitting on me.”

Handong laughs through the receiver and loudly scoffs. “ _You’re insane! She’s MARRIED.”_

“Dongie, I swear to god, I’m freaking out and I have no idea what to do. I’m literally hiding in the bathroom right now because I don’t know what to think of all of this.”

Handong sighs on the other line. “ _Are you absolutely positive she’s flirting with you?”_

“I mean- it’s-”

_Was_ she overthinking?

“ _You’re just reading into it too much, try not to think about it. She’s just really friendly.”_

Bora sighs. “Okay. I guess you might be right.”

There’s something really wrong about saying that out loud. Bora knows what just happened, there’s really no other way to interpret it, but if Handong insists then she’s willing to believe it for now. 

Maybe she _was_ reading into it too much. It’s entirely possible she’s just making up things where they aren’t because she _wants_ Minji to be flirting with her. Yeah, that seems more realistic.

“Thanks Dongie, have fun grading your assignments.”

“ _Yeah yeah, I will. Have fun at stick-in-the-mud club!_ ”

Bora hangs up and puts her phone down, opting to splash some water on her face before flushing the toilet to make it seem like she hadn’t run in here to hide. She takes one last deep breath before leaving, and just as she’s walking back to the couch, she notices Minji has disappeared again.

Bora sits on the couch rigidly and busies herself with her phone again before Minji returns a few minutes later to start the book club.

“Hi everyone! We can start discussing now if you all would like-”

“OR… we can all have some of this lovely champagne that Bora brought. There’s always next week, right?” Jongin pipes up.

Minji turns around, shocked, to look at him from where he’s poking his head out from the kitchen.

Bora silently fumes. She hadn’t brought that for everyone, it was for _Minji_. She also doesn’t particularly like the way Jongin was entirely too comfortable to speak over her.

  
“Oh… We could do that too.” Minji says quietly, a small smile on her face. 

To anyone else in the room it was a typical smile, but Bora sees right through her. That’s the sad smile she'd reserved for the few moments of vulnerability she’d offered, the kind that revolved around her feeling unheard and unappreciated and-

Bora clenches her teeth and drums her fingers against the couch impatiently, trying her best to drown out the excited cheers of the other women in the room.

“I mean, can we discuss first? The alcohol won’t go anywhere.” Bora says, sure to project her voice above the clamor.

Jongin shrugs. “Yeah, that’s fine by me!”

“ _Minji_ , what would you like to do?” Bora says, completely ignoring him.

Minji’s face is hard to read, but her lips twitch up ever so slightly and Bora hopes that she wasn’t being too overbearing.

“That seems fine. We can discuss and then afterwards anything is free game.”

The rest of the room seems to agree, and rather than sitting in her typical chair at the front of the room, Minji sits next to Bora again.

Bora isn’t sure what to say, not wanting to bring up what had just happened or the implications of why she had said anything at all, but Minji doesn’t speak up either: she just grabs one of Bora’s hands with her own and rubs the back of it with her thumb. She smiles at her, and Bora can see in her eyes how appreciative she is. Bora offers her an awkward smile and Minji pulls her hand away to grab for her book.

Someone else Bora doesn’t know, who’s sitting next to Irene, is the first to speak.

“These two chapters were just _so_ devastating.”

Minji leans over to whisper to Bora. “That’s Miyeon, by the way.”

Bora nods, thankful for the explanation, and continues to listen to Miyeon’s musings about this week’s reading. She pays closer attention to Miyeon for the sole reason that she looks a little familiar— and then it hits her. She’s the mom of one of Gahyeon’s friends, Shuhua. Ah. Shit. Well she probably looks like an asshole now. She wonders if she should say something or apologize later when she hears her name being mentioned.

“Bora was right last week, it seems like Ethan was trapped by that marriage, right? Because Zeena got sick and he felt too guilty to leave her.”

There’s some hums and nods from around the room before someone else speaks.

“That’s Nayeon.” Minji explains.

“Even before we find that out, it’s so clear how much he would rather avoid her. And then Ethan and, what was the other woman’s name?” Nayeon continues.

“Mattie.” Irene supplies.

“Yeah, when he and Mattie are left alone, it’s like he actually appreciates her. The difference between how he treats Zeena and Mattie is really unbelievable.”

“He’s so clearly in love with Mattie.” Miyeon says. 

The rest of the room seems to agree, and Bora definitely does. It was a little hard to fully process the novel between arduous games of footsie, but that much she did pick up on.

“I hate to derail here, but did anyone pick up on the color symbolism there?” Miyeon continues.

“OOH, that was my favorite part-” Minji chimes in, “-the way that Ethan sees the world as so devoid of color and so plain, but Mattie is always wearing something red and vibrant. I think that speaks volumes about how much he loves her.”

There’s tiny gasps and shocked nods across the room, like no one else had even considered that. No wonder why Minji has a collection of post-it notes sticking out of her book. Bora is in awe.

“I hadn’t even noticed that, that makes it even more sad!” Miyeon says, entirely too overdramatic as she clutches a hand to her chest, “He’s so in love with her but can’t do anything except think about how he’s going to wither away with the wife he hates...”

Bora feels the couch shift as Minji tenses a little, squirming in her seat to cross her legs. Bora tries to pretend like she doesn’t notice, so she darts her eyes around the room to try and steal a look at Minji. She looks uncomfortable.

Bora has a hard time focusing for the rest of the discussion, which goes on for another fifteen minutes. She’s too busy trying to decipher the range of emotions Minji has put her through in the last hour, too much of it occupying her brain capacity to worry about the topic at hand.

The discussion seems to end, all of the women in the room standing and migrating to the kitchen or other parts of the house and Bora snaps out of her trance.

“I brought that champagne for _you,_ ya know.”

Minji looks up from her book, a shy smile on her face.

“I figured.”

“Why?”

Minji shrugs. “You seem like you’re the type of person to bend over backwards for people you care about.”

“Are you implying I care about you?”

“I would be upset if you said you didn’t.” Minji teases.

Bora laughs. “Minji, I don’t know that much about you but, yeah, I care about you.”

“But you know more than most people.”

“Yet I still feel like I know nothing about you.”

Minji shrugs again. “And I know nothing about _you_.”

Bora looks around the room to make sure no one is there to overhear them.

“Let’s fix that. You wanna do something stupid?”

Minji nods, waiting for Bora’s suggestion.

“Let’s grab a bottle and ditch, we can sit outside or something and talk on our own.”

Minji smiles widely at her. “I’d love that. Hold on, I’ll go get the bottle and you can sneak outside. I’m sure we can do this without anyone noticing.”

Bora grins at her. “On it, captain.” She says with a salute.

Minji laughs and walks into the crowd in the kitchen while Bora pockets her phone and walks towards the back door. She steals a quick glance at the kitchen, where Minji is busy putting on some music and bringing out other bottles of liquor. She grabs an unopened bottle and catches Bora’s eye, winking at her before she resumes talking to the other book club members.

Minji is really good at making Bora feel like the only other person in the room— something Bora hasn’t felt in years. The heat crawls up her neck as she shoots Minji a weak smile. Bora takes one more look at her before quietly opening the door and going to sit outside.

It’s incredibly dark out, aside from the soft lights emitting from under the water of the pool. Bora thinks about where she wants to sit, and walks to the other side of the pool, the side that wasn’t visible from any of the windows on the first floor. 

She settles down on the edge of the brick. It’s cold, but she doesn’t mind. She hikes up her shorts as a precaution and lets her legs dangle in the water. It feels nice, like the times where she didn’t have a care in the world.

She kicks around the water for a little longer until the back door opens and loud music leaks out. It quickly dissipates when Minji closes the door, and she pretends like she’s sneaking over to Bora, which earns a loud laugh from her.

  
“You’re stupid.”

“You laughed, so.” Minji fires back.

Her eyebrows raise as she notices Bora’s feet are in the pool.

“Interesting choice...”

“It feels nice. Is your pool heated?”

Minji laughs as she sits down beside her. “Yeah, it is.”

“You guys really spared no expense here, huh?”

Minji lifts up her dress enough to slot her legs next to Bora’s. “Well if I’m gonna be miserable it might as well be in a beautiful home.”

Bora looks over at her.

“Miserable?”

Minji looks at her and raises an eyebrow. “I know you could tell. I’m not stupid.”

“I-”

Minji laughs, but it’s pathetic and forced. She opens up the bottle of champagne and Bora realizes she hadn’t bothered to bring glasses this time. Minji takes a big swig of the champagne straight from the bottle before passing it to Bora.

“You’re very nosy.” Minji says, which makes Bora burst into a series of loud, unrestrained laughs.

Bora takes a sip of the champagne and hands the bottle back to Minji.

“Well, you said you were an open book, so stop making me pry.” Bora challenges.

“I’m not gonna tell you everything, because it’s a lot, but I haven’t been happy in a long time.” Minji admits, her legs kicking in the water.

“Is it because of your… marriage?” Bora says, unsure of how to word it.

“I guess so. We’ve known each other since we were kids, but it’s just. I don’t even think he notices I exist sometimes.”

Bora hums to herself, but the twisting in her gut is demanding more alcohol, so she reaches out a hand to grab it and take another sip before speaking. She tries to calm the storm in her brain that’s screaming out in jealousy.

“I could kinda tell.”

Minji looks over at her, head tilted.

“What do you mean?”

“Just the way he spoke over you today. That must have been…”

“That’s how it is all the time.” Minji says with a weak laugh. “I’m just the person that invites people over, and he’s the one that loves to entertain. It’s really not for me.”

“You’re a good host, if that’s any consolation.”

Minji frowns. “It’s not.”

Bora curses herself, wishing she could have said something else or take it back.

“I’m sorry.”

Minji takes another swig of champagne.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, Bora. You’re the only person that’s listened to me in years.”

“You make it really easy. It’s impossible not to like you, you keep me on my toes.”

Minji smiles at her, and reaches for her hand again. She intertwines their fingers and sets their hands in the space between them, and Bora prays Minji doesn’t notice how clammy her hand is.

“See, now that makes me feel a little better.”

Bora laughs and squeezes their fingers together. There’s a bit of a pause as they stare at the pool, the reflection of the moon making it seem other-wordly.

“Well, all of that considered, I feel like it’s only fair I share some of my shit too. Wanna know something about me?”

Minji raises an eyebrow. “Of course.”

“You know why I moved here?”

“No, why?”

Bora sighs at the memory. “I got into this huge fight with one of the other moms at Gahyeon’s old school. She was on the PTA board and would make awful comments about me constantly, and then they started getting to Gahyeon, through the kids—you know they just say whatever they hear— so I lost it and unloaded on her one night.”

“Oh wow.”

Bora scrunches her face in embarrassment. “It was a huge deal. She almost had the cops called on me, but I managed to calm down before she did. I just couldn’t face that ever again, so I left.”

“Wow.” Minji echoes. “That’s really awful… you and Gahyeon didn’t deserve that.”

“Not at all. It’s already hard enough on Gahyeon because of me, and I only made it worse.” Bora says, her voice getting weaker as her throat tightens with the threat of tears.

“It’s not your fault, Bora. I think any sane person would have done the same. You being... a single mom… has nothing to do with how Gahyeon’s life is.”

Bora shrugs, and kicks her feet in the pool weakly.

“It just makes me feel like shit. I chose to adopt Gahyeon on my own because I felt like I had all the love in the world to give, and once I have a kid it’s like all I do is fuck up, like it’s not enough. I have no friends, and I haven’t been interested in anyone since having her, either. I never once regretted it, but _god_ , Minji, it’s just so much sometimes.” Bora admits, the tears coming a little closer to spilling.

Minji’s thumb rubs over the back of her hand.

“I can _tell_ you have a lot of love to give, Bora. You’re so kind and very emotionally intelligent, and I’m sure that’s rubbing off on Gahyeon. You did what you had to to protect her, and I think that’s admirable. You’re brave, and I wish you could see it that way instead of seeing it as a mistake.” Minji pauses. “Nothing done out of love is a mistake.”

“I-” Bora pauses and clears her throat to collect herself. “Thank you, Minji. I’m glad it comes off that way. My parents were… awful. Never cared about what I did, too caught up in their own stuff. I had to fend for my own, and no one I love will ever have to feel like that. No one I love will ever have to wonder if they’re important, if anyone cares.”

Minji hums and squeezes her hand.

“I’m sorry, Bora. You don’t deserve to feel like that, never did. I understand how you feel, though. I… it sounds a little too familiar, in all honesty.” Minji says with a weak laugh. “I wish I had someone that cared about me like that.”

There’s a silence, and Minji swishes her feet around in the pool.

“I wish I had someone like you.”

Bora gains the courage to look at Minji, finally, and it’s like all the stars are in her eyes. No one has ever looked at her like that, not any of her exes, her friends, no one. No one is Minji, and the realization chokes at Bora even more.

“You _do_.”

Bora can feel her heartbeat in her ears and it’s getting harder to breathe. Neither of them move an inch, but Bora’s breathing gets deeper, more ragged, and so does Minji’s. 

There’s a million thoughts racing through Bora’s mind, and it’s getting harder and harder to deny what she wants. She so easily could kiss her. Minji’s eyes dart to Bora’s lips for just a second, and Bora’s already weak grip on reality shatters. 

Bora panics and does the first thing she can think of, and pushes Minji into the pool.

Minji comes to the surface quickly, a shocked expression on her face, but one that looks more amused than anything. Somehow, with wet hair plastered all over her face and looking visibly disheveled, she’s still so beautiful.

“What’s your last name?”

Bora’s head tilts, what the fuck could she possibly be asking that for?

“Kim.”

“Kim Bora, you’re a _massive_ piece of shit.” Minji says, and pulls Bora into the pool. 

Bora doesn’t have a single moment to react, barely letting out a high pitched yelp before she's underwater, until Minji is pulling her back up.

That seemed to be the shock back to reality that Bora needed, because her brain completely empties and all she can manage is: “OH MY GOD! MINJI!” punctuated by a slap to her arm. 

Minji responds with her melodious laugh, loud and incredibly endearing. She has no problem standing in the depth of water they’re at, but Bora has to walk to a shallower part of the pool because she was having a hard time keeping her chin above the water.

“Now you can’t say I’ve ever left you high and dry, huh?” 

Bora groans at the joke. “You are so annoying.”

Minji awkwardly waddles over to the side of the pool to grab the champagne bottle. She takes a drink and raises her eyebrows at Bora.

“Since we’re already acting like idiots, open up and I’ll waterfall you some.”

Bora narrows her eyes. “And why would I do that when I can just take a drink myself?”

Minji bites her lip. “You’re telling me you _don’t_ want me to hold your chin while I force you to-”

Bora’s face gets incredibly hot. She knows it must be an insufferable shade of red by the way Minji laughs. 

  
“Get over here.” Minji’s words are getting a little more mumbled, and Bora figures some of the alcohol must finally be hitting her.

Bora obliges, and the second she gets within arm’s length of Minji, her fingers find purchase on Bora’s chin to hold her in place. Minji shoots Bora a devilish smile and nods her head up expectantly, to which Bora leans her head back and opens her mouth. 

Minji pours a rather large sip of champagne in and Bora swallows almost painfully, never once taking her eyes off of Minji.

Minji finally lets go, and it’s like Bora crashes back to earth.

“You must have been a real party animal in college, huh?”

Bora laughs and rolls her eyes.

“Takes one to know one. Motherhood really mellows you out though, I’ve found.”

Minji giggles and takes another sip. “It sure does.” Minji’s face scrunches up like she’s trying to think, and Bora lets her focus. “You make me feel alive, Bora.”

Bora knows exactly what she means. That life is finally more exciting, that maybe those bygone poets and artists knew what they were talking about when they waxed poetic about soulmates and how the right person makes everything seem vibrant.

Minji is red. Minji is the burst of color that Bora never knew she was missing.

“I think we met at the right time, Minji.” Bora settles for saying.

Minji giggles and walks over to the edge of the pool to set down the now empty bottle, but trips a little in her footing. She saves herself from completely falling, but it seems like the alcohol has really taken a toll.

“Hey, honey, can we get you inside?” Bora says, her voice dense with worry.

“Fine, but how are we gonna explain this?”

Bora blinks. “I’ll come up with something, c’mere.” 

Bora extends an arm toward Minji, who nearly falls into her. Bora wraps her arm around Minji’s waist and trudges with her to the other side of the pool, where the stairs are. Minji, thankfully, doesn’t need too much help, but it becomes more of a struggle when they finally get out of the water and are further hindered by their sopping wet clothes. 

They walk, slowly, up to the door of the house, and most of the noise has died down. There’s still a few more people chatting, and when Bora opens the door there’s a chorus of gasps. Bora has to stop every reflex in her body from rolling her eyes.

“What happened?”

“Are you guys okay?”

Minji laughs.

“Yeah, she just drank a little too much and fell in, so I jumped in and got her out.”

Out of nowhere, Jongin rounds the corner and races out of the door to get to Minji.

“Baby, are you okay!?”

He steps outside and physically inserts himself between them rather brusquely, taking Bora’s place and leaving her to awkwardly stand outside as he makes more of a scene. Minji looks back for a second, confused and upset. She lets herself get swept away, her brows furrowing together like she was trying to apologize.

Bora stands outside in the cold and reality hits her again.

No one checks up on her. No one brings her a towel. No one cares. At the end of the day, Bora is alone, even Minji has her husband. 

She bites the inside of her cheek, willing the tears to stay away until she can at least get to her car. Minji drank a majority of the alcohol, so Bora doesn’t think she has to worry about driving.

The crowd of book club-goers had followed Minji and Jongin inside, like they were a celebrity couple and their guests were paparazzi. It’s bizarre, but Bora doesn’t want to dwell on it, instead capitalizing on their cult-like inclinations toward the Kims to silently leave.

Bora steps inside, finally, and wrings out her hair onto the tile, making sure to leave a mess.

It was petty, but she didn’t have it in her to control herself right now. She walks through the rest of the house on her own, stopping in the living room to grab her purse and just as she reaches the front door and opens it, their security system lets out a ding, alerting the rest of the house that someone was leaving.

Bora doesn’t want to deal with the attention, so she closes the door shut behind her and makes a dash for her car. She had parked on the outside of the driveway so no one had blocked her in, and the second she gets in her car she lets out a sob.

Her hands grip on the steering wheel like she’d slip away from reality if she let go, and her forehead rests painfully on the leather wheel as she’s racked with sobs. It’s pathetic, and she hasn’t cried this hard in years. And over what? A married woman that’s messing with her because her life sucks?

Bora cries even harder thinking about it, how she’s probably nothing more to Minji than a distraction. She cries until she feels like a black hole. She cries until she feels like nothing.

Bora drives home in silence, and is incredibly thankful that Gahyeon is sleeping when she returns.

She doesn’t say much to Yoohyeon or Siyeon, and they seem to get the message, though they seem incredibly confused that Bora is soaked to the bone.

She showers and finally gets in bed and tries to ignore everything she feels, because if she were to indulge it, she knows that she would never stop crying.

Bora’s finally warmed up after nearly freezing to death on the ride home, but something is off. She’s still cold, because the thought of Minji no longer feels like warmth, it feels like the first hints of Winter after a cozy autumn.

Creeping, looming, and incredibly chilling. 

Lonely. 


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minji's personal life still seems like a mystery, one that bora has decided she doesn't have the energy to uncover. both things change in a matter of minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the collapse... enjoy ;)

The alarm goes off way too soon for Bora’s liking— so soon that her hair hasn’t even dried yet. She groans and is about to slap the snooze button before she realizes that Gahyeon has crawled into bed with her in the middle of the night, pressed against her side and incredibly warm. Bora sighs and gently reaches toward the alarm to hit the snooze before laying an arm around Gahyeon.

She still feels empty and sad and off, but if there’s one thing in the world she’s sure of, it’s that she loves her daughter.

Bora cards gentle fingers through her hair as she continues to sleep, enjoying the moment of solace and quiet that she’s afforded before they both have to wake up and get ready for work and school. It goes by quickly, and the alarm is going off again, and she doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring it this time.

She wakes Gahyeon and starts bustling around getting ready as her daughter continues to sleep on her bed. She expected nothing less of course, so she leaves her room to go pick out an outfit for her daughter before returning and waking her up one more time.

“Hey sweetheart, you gotta get up, okay? You have school soon and I can’t be late for work.”

Gahyeon whines and begins to protest but Bora pulls out her mom voice.

“Hey, I’m being serious.”

“Okay, fine.” Gahyeon groans, finally hopping out of bed and walking back to her own room.

Bora rubs the sleep out of her eyes and shuts them painfully before reaching for her phone on the nightstand. She’s shocked to see a few texts from Minji.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_hey wh eerd u go.._

_i mis s u…_

_cn you come ovr_

Obviously, Bora hadn’t seen those messages the night before, but even if she did she wouldn’t have responded. It just reignites that painful chill within her all over again. She opens the conversation to clear her notifications and immediately exits, not feeling the energy or _need_ to give her drunk texts a response.

She gets ready with a clouded mind, thoughts of Minji and the night before all too insistent on replaying every second she closes her eyes.

To hell with what Handong had said, Minji was definitely flirting with her. Bora can’t deny it at this point, they have some kind of weird _situation_ going on, and she’s not sure how to feel about it. 

All it does is remind her of her father cheating on her mother. The situation is a little different, sure, Bora wouldn’t be the one _doing_ the cheating, but she’d still be complacent in it all, a pawn in the game. 

It’s why she had Gahyeon on her own— her perception of love and romance destroyed a little more every time she had come home from school to another screaming match. 

Even now, the creeping dread she associates with relationships is hard to shake. She wants to love, she wants to have someone to spend her life with, but opening up has always been her weak point. And now that she’s trying to be vulnerable, to let someone in, her inner child is screaming out that she’s doomed to repeat history. Not in the footsteps of her father, but in the shadow of his mistress, recreating the same aftershocks that disrupted her own view of love.

She stares at herself in the mirror, too caught up in her thoughts to care about the foundation dripping down her face as everything else fades to numbness. 

Bora, shaken from her stupor when a drip of foundation falls off the slope of her chin, decides nothing will _ever_ happen between her and Minji, and to ensure that, she has to cut her off. It’s what’s best for everyone, before things get even more messy and confusing and before Bora becomes exactly what she’s most afraid of.

She applies the rest of her makeup haphazardly, because the more she stares at herself in the mirror, the less she recognizes who’s staring back at her. 

…

The rest of her week slogs on painfully slowly. It always feels like something is missing, and Bora hates to think about what that possibly could be, even if she knows it. She _knows_ it’s her, yet it still makes no sense.

Did she miss the attention? Was she mourning what could have been?

_  
_ _Why was she even entertaining that in the first place?_ That thought is the rubberband against her wrist, the snap back to reality.

Bora grits her teeth and her knuckles go white against the steering wheel. She resents the fact that she’s stuck in traffic right now, because the endless crawl just affords her time to think, and that’s the absolute last thing she’s been trying to do.

She blasts the radio in an attempt to drown out her thoughts, only to be interrupted by her phone going off. Normally, Bora wouldn’t check her phone in the car, but because her foot is creating a rut in the brake pedal, she sighs and takes a quick glance.

**_Kim Minji_ **

Do you wanna come over tomorrow?

The message seems odd. Bora sets her phone back down and drums her fingers against the wheel, wondering why after nearly four days of silence, that’s what Minji decides to say.

No mention of the drunk texts, no apology, just the assumption that Bora could move on and ignore everything that happened that night and just go and distract Minji from her sad, domestic life. 

The thought infuriates her.

Bora is glad to be feeling any than empty for once, because she can work with anger. The numbness drains her like nothing else, so she decides to be angry.

The rest of the car ride is marked by a _loud_ and rather draining scream-singing session, one of Bora’s favorite forms of catharsis aside from the occasional kickboxing classes her and Dongie attend every few months.

She sighs as she finally pulls into her driveway, the exhaustion setting into her bones. Gahyeon is at a sleepover at her friend’s today, so Bora has her house to herself.

It’s nothing special, but it’s home. A small one story at the head of a cul de sac, no fancy landscaping, no expensive stone siding, just a humble place, and it’s exactly what Bora loves. She opens the door and is greeted by the smell of her favorite air freshener: the apple cinnamon one she stocks up on in the Fall to last her all year.

The house is quiet without Gahyeon there, and Bora flops onto her couch like she hasn’t slept all week. It’s true, to an extent. Her mind’s been restless and her job’s been exhausting and raising a kid alone is no easy task.

...

She’s woken up from her accidental nap to her phone ringing. Assuming it’s something about Gahyeon, she sleepily grabs her phone off where it lays on the coffee table and slides her finger on the screen to accept the call.

She has no idea what time it is, who she’s answering, or how long she’s even been asleep, but her fingers work faster than her brain— blame it on the maternal instincts.

“ _Bora_ , _oh my god_.” There’s a loud sob on the other end, and Bora immediately registers Minji’s voice.

“Huh?” Her voice is low from being so groggy.

Minji sniffles loudly and keeps crying. It’s not the normal type of crying, either. It’s the kind of sobs that feel like they’re tearing your chest open and you can’t do anything but just give into them. It makes Bora’s heart ache for her. 

“ _I- I can’t be a-a...alone right now.”_ She finally manages.

“Can you breathe for me? It’s okay, I’m here.”

“ _Bora- I.. I need you.”_ She breaks down into another series of strained sobs, and Bora is already heading out the door, purse haphazardly slung over her shoulder as she nervously tries to find her keys. 

Everything else she’s been feeling the past few days fades to unimportance as all the alarms fire off in her brain. All Bora cares about is making sure she’s okay, no matter what other feelings she has to work around to be there for her.

“I’ll be over in a few. You aren’t hurt, right?”

“ _No.”_

“Do you want me to stay on the phone while I drive?”

Minji doesn’t respond, so Bora takes that as a yes.

She drives carefully, but admittedly her foot gets a little too comfortable on the gas pedal when Minji’s crying picks up. Bora rambles on about whatever she can think of, not really expecting Minji to respond, and she doesn’t. Bora talks about how Gahyeon’s at a sleepover, the traffic she got into after work, how long her week was, anything.

It makes the time go by quicker, too, and before she knows it she’s running up Minji’s driveway and buzzing at the doorbell incessantly. There’s no answer, so Bora ends up letting herself in.

“Minji?” She calls out, loud enough for it to echo through the halls of her empty home.

Again, there’s no response, so Bora heads for her bedroom, bounding up the stairs two at a time, her heart racing out of rhythm. Her mind goes to the absolute worst place, and she prays she finds Minji okay when she opens the door.

Bora’s fingers tremble as they settle on the handle, and she thinks it’s incredibly depressing that she’s just glad to hear _any_ noise from the other side, even if it’s sobbing.

She opens the door, and Minji is curled up in the bay window, the moon illuminating her small form. She’s wrapped in a blanket, head against the wood.

“Hey, Minji?”

Minji doesn’t move, just cries a little harder. Bora approaches her and kneels at the floor before resting her hand on Minji’s head, caressing her softly.

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

Bora’s fingers tangle in Minji’s hair and she rests her forehead against Minji’s chest. Bora tries to hold back her own sobs as Minji desperately pulls her in, nails digging into Bora’s back as she rests her head on Bora’s shoulder. 

Bora starts crying, too. She knows this, she’s been here before.

They’re in two totally different places in life, yet the same splintered mirror reflects the same image on them both.

Bora bites her cheek so hard she tastes blood, but she’s a lost cause at this point. She gives in and cries with Minji, the aching she’s felt over the last week _because_ of her finally getting released. It’s cruelly ironic, but Bora can’t fight it anymore— not when she sees herself in Minji and she knows how long this must have been coming.

Minji’s fingers tremble against her back, and Bora feels the endless stream of tears soaking through her shirt and pooling on her skin. She tries her best to comfort Minji, to rub a hand on her back, but Minji holds her in place so rigidly it’s hard to do much else but absorb it, so she does.

Minji’s breathing starts getting choppy, like she’s crying so hard she can’t even breathe, so Bora pulls away for a second, with much resistance, to look at her.

“Hey, c’mon let’s sit up.” Her voice is weak from crying, and she still tastes blood in her mouth, but for Minji, she’ll be strong.

Bora sits on the other side of the bay window’s bench, and pulls Minji up by her shoulders. She sits up and slouches, still gasping for air. Bora grabs her hands and holds them in her own, squeezing them to try and get her attention.

“Listen to me. We’re gonna breathe, okay?”

Bora raises her eyebrows at Minji and sucks in a deep breath, puffing out her chest so that Minji will follow her lead. She holds her breath for a few seconds, and lets it out, and Minji mimics her every movement. They do this a couple more times, until Minji’s shallow breathing has transformed into quiet hiccups, which Bora thinks is passable for now.

“It’s gonna be alright, Minji.”

She squeezes her hands one more time, which prompts Minji to take another deep breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Better.” Minji finally responds.

Bora’s thumb rubs the outside of her hand gently, and Bora takes a good look at her for the first time since getting in. Her eyes are unbelievably puffy, and her face is flushed. Her hair falls about her face messily and some of it’s been molded to her face by the tears.

Bora brushes some of the hair out of Minji’s face and blinks away some of the unshed tears in her own eyes.

“I don’t wanna be here.” Minji says weakly.

Bora bites her cheek, a nervous habit, but winces when she remembers how fresh the wound there is.

“Let’s go to mine, then.”

Minji looks at her and nods.

Bora stands and reaches her hands out to Minji, who accepts them as she stands. Bora lets go of one hand and is about to let go of the other, but Minji clings on desperately, so Bora lets her have it. 

Bora and Minji walk down the stairs, and the pace is slow, because Minji seems to be so utterly destroyed by whatever she’s dealing with that she’s physically weak.

They eventually make it outside, and Bora opens the door for her and settles her in the passenger seat before jogging around the car to get in her own seat. Minji seems to have stopped crying for now, but she’s still eerily quiet.

Bora doesn’t bother to put on music as she pulls out of the driveway, and the ride to her home is painfully silent. Bora doesn’t want to push or pry, but there’s been absolutely no explanation on Minji’s end as to what is going on, and Bora would appreciate being clued in on _anything_ at this point.

The drive ends eventually, and as Bora is pulling into her driveway, Minji finally speaks up.

“Your house is cute.” Her voice is strained.

Bora, unable to accept a compliment from her, shrugs it off. “Nothing compared to yours.”

“I like it. It’s very _you_.”

“Unimpressive and kinda underwhelming?”

Minji lets out a loud laugh. “No, cute and very nice looking. Easy on the eyes.”

“Do you ever stop flirting?”

“With you? No.”

Minji sniffles and looks over at Bora, a sad smile scrawled on her lips. Bora regrets even saying that out loud, but Minji’s answer throws her for more of a loop. She puts that at the back of her mind to unpack later, unable to fully process the implications of that without losing what last shred of sanity she’s desperately been holding on to.

Bora rolls her eyes. “Alright, let’s go inside.”

She and Minji get out of the car, and it seems that she’s gotten some of her strength back, to Bora’s great relief. She fishes her keys out of her purse and unlocks the door, moving out of the way to let Minji in first before closing and locking the door behind her.

“Wow, your house is so nice.”

Bora drops her keys in the dish by the door before taking off her shoes, to which Minji does the same.

“Thanks.” Bora clears her throat. “I’ll get you some water, okay? The couch is over there if you wanna go sit down.”

“Mhm.” Minji responds, and the soft pads of feet trail off towards the living room.

Bora gets two glasses and fills them with ice water before walking into the living room, where she finds Minji inspecting her family photos.

“Who’s nosy now?”

“Still you.” Minji responds. Her voice is a little hoarse from crying, and it makes Bora’s heart sink into her stomach.

Bora huffs out a half laugh as she hands Minji a glass. “Here.”

“Thanks, Bora.” Minji leans in a little more to look at another photo. It’s a picture of Bora and Gahyeon after one of her dance recitals, Gahyeon perched on the top of her shoulders and eyes shut in laughter. Bora has a wide grin on her face, mirroring the one that she sees on herself in the picture, and everything seems just a little easier, if only for a moment.

“You two are adorable.”

“Thanks, but it’s all her. I’m so proud of her.”

Minji looks back at Bora and smiles, and there’s an endless pool of admiration shining back at her from Minji’s eyes. 

Bora walks over to the couch and sits down, and Minji looks at a few other pictures before sitting next to her. She takes a sip of water before setting her glass down on the coffee table, and immediately reclines on the couch, putting her head in Bora’s lap.

Bora looks down at her, a little shocked that she had ended up there.

“You don’t have to be afraid to touch me, Bora.”

Bora just blinks at her, frozen in place. Minji rolls her eyes and gives her a weak smile before grabbing one of Bora’s hands and placing it at the top of her head.

“If I’m about to dump everything on you right now, the least you can do is play with my hair.”

Bora laughs at that, and it eases some of her own nerves. She obeys Minji’s request, fingers carding through her hair gently.

“Are you sure you wanna talk about it?”

“Yeah, I’ve been sitting on everything way too long and I don’t wanna have an episode like that again. As long as you don’t mind listening, of course.”

“I’m always here to listen.”

“Thank you.”

Minji closes her eyes for a minute to gather her thoughts, and Bora takes the opportunity to look at every last detail of her face. The way her cheeks look, the soft flutter of her eyelashes, the way she licks her lips when she’s thinking. Bora can’t get enough. Minji finally opens her eyes and smiles at Bora, and it’s hard to believe that after the intense emotional break she just had, that she’s resilient enough to talk about it, to be vulnerable. Bora admires her so, so deeply for that.

Minji clears her throat and takes a deep breath before she begins.

“I’m a lesbian.”

Bora’s eyes shoot wide open.

“WHAT?”

Minji lets out a few weak laughs before she continues. “Yeah, coming to that realization tonight was a little shocking to say the least.”

“You’re… wow… That makes a lot of sense, actually.”

Minji hums. “It makes a lot of sense but it doesn’t make anything easier, that’s for sure.”

“Minji-”

She cuts her off. “Like, even if you’re in a shitty marriage I don’t think you should _fear_ having to show romantic affection to your husband.”

Bora sighs. “Yeah, that’s a big sign… probably.”

Minji bites her lip, and it looks like she’s about to say something but she chokes it back. There’s an awkward silence for a bit, and Bora realizes that she had stopped playing with Minji’s hair, so she resumes doing so, making sure to be extra gentle.

Minji shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath at the sensation. “You know what else I should have realized, Bora?”

“Hmm?”

“That maybe a straight woman wouldn’t prefer living in her guest bedroom instead of having to share the same bed as her husband.”

Bora’s eyebrows furrow in concentration, and she gasps when she realizes it, that Minji’s guest room was the most _homely_ in her entire house, with Yeri’s drawings and the handmade quilt and-

“Minji, oh my god.”

Minji shoots her a weak smile. “Oh, just you wait. It gets worse. Or would you like a break?”

“Give me a chance to catch up, first. Wow...”

Minji laughs a little, but Bora sees a few tears streak down her face, regardless.

“It’s okay to cry, Minji.” She says, fingers trailing down the side of her face to cup her cheek.

She lets out a shaky breath, and the forced smile on her face melts away, and she hides her face in Bora’s stomach as the cries start to pick up again. Bora sighs and her other hand drops to Minji’s back, pulling her in closer. Thankfully, her sobs don’t escalate to the level they were at earlier, but the dull ache in Bora’s chest gets more painful the longer Minji keeps crying.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft. “Let’s go lay down, yeah?”

Minji stops crying for a second to sniffle, and she nods her head against Bora’s torso. She slowly sits up and waits for Bora to lead her to her bedroom. 

  
They walk there together and Bora lets out an awkward cough as she lays down on her side of the bed, straight as a rod with her hands crossed over her stomach as she waits for Minji to lay next to her. The bed shifts as Minji lays next to Bora, turning on her side to face her. Bora does the same, and reaches her hand out to wipe away some of the stray tears on Minji’s face.

“How are you feeling?”

“Overwhelmed.”

Bora sighs.

“Do you still wanna talk?”

Minji nods at her. “Yeah, like I said I need to get it out.”

“Okay, I’ll let you take the lead then.”

Minji stays silent for a few moments, and Bora’s fingers are itching to touch her, to bring her some physical comfort, so Bora gives into her impulse and intertwines Minji’s fingers with her own.

She inhales and exhales deeply before speaking. “On top of everything else, I’ve known for like a year now that Jongin regularly cheats on me.”

Bora’s brain immediately jumps into being enraged, and she’s about to let out a well-crafted slough of curses and ill-wishes before Minji speaks up again and effectively cuts off anything she could have said.

“The worst part? I don’t care. For fuck’s sake, it took some pressure off of me, actually.”

Bora isn’t sure what to say, so she waits for Minji to keep speaking.

“He doesn’t know that I know, either. I found some other woman’s perfume in his car once and not only did I _not_ choose to confront him about it, I kept it because it smelled nice. How stupid is that? That instead of blowing up at my husband for cheating on me I, instead, decided to keep his mistress’s perfume because I found more comfort in the _hints_ of a woman than the very real man I’m married to. How the _fuck_ did I not realize earlier?”

“Minji that is so…. gay.”

Minji screws her eyes shut out of embarrassment. “I know…”

Bora holds Minji’s hand a little tighter. She really is at a loss of words, but hopefully Minji can at least get some comfort from the gesture. Minji takes a deep breath before offering Bora a weak smile.

“It’s Chanel, by the way.” Minji pauses. “The perfume.”

Bora huffs out a laugh and rolls her eyes. “Minji, you don’t have to make jokes right now, it’s okay.”

“I don’t know what I’d do otherwise, Bora.”

There’s a piercing silence. 

“What _are_ you gonna do?”

Minji bites her lip and Bora sees tears well in her eyes. “I don’t know.”

The floodgates open again, and Minji retracts her hand from Bora’s to cover her face. Her sobs start picking up again, and Bora hesitates, moving closer and then back and-

She sighs and scoots closer to Minji, and slings an arm around her waist, and her other hand rests at the back of Minji’s head, cradling her into her chest. Minji shuffles into her, and her arms wrap around Bora, pulling her in even more as she shakes with sobs.

“I got you. You’re okay.”

Bora rubs Minji’s back as she cries, and it seems like forever, Bora trying her best not to sob with her as Minji’s frame trembles within her embrace. Her fingers massage Minji’s scalp gently, Bora doing her best to remind her that she’s not alone, that Bora is trying to be the last thing holding her together as everything else falls apart.

“We’ll figure it out together.”

Minji lets out a loud sob and tightens her hold on her when Bora says that. She’s not sure if she should have said that, or what Minji thought of it, but she meant it. She meant every word.

She wouldn’t leave Minji like this, now or ever.

…

Bora is the one that wakes up first. Minji is still snug against her, soft breaths curling like wind over the topography of her skin. She takes a deep breath, and moves ever so slightly to get a look at her. It looks like she’s finally at peace, so Bora lets her sleep.

Bora’s eyes start to close too, until she remembers—

_Gahyeon._

She slips her arm out from under Minji as gently as possible, and somehow manages not to wake her. Bora puts a pillow under her head before tiptoe-sprinting out of her room as fast as possible to get to her phone.

She checks the time, and it’s only 7 a.m. There’s absolutely no way Gahyeon would need to be picked up yet, and she lets out a deep sigh of relief. Still, she texts Miyeon.

_Hey! Let me know whenever Gahyeon is ready, and I’ll come get her. :)_

_Thanks again for having her!_

Bora carries her phone with her back into her bedroom, where Minji is still sleeping. She stands in the doorway for a moment, just to look at her.

Minji, in Bora’s bed.

Her eyes go wide and she chokes down the thoughts of domesticity that fly to the forefront of her mind. She shakes her head and walks over to where Minji lays, unable to decide if she should try and crawl back in bed to hold her again, to entertain that part of her that says that’s platonic _enough_ , or if she should wake her up.

Bora stands over her, a looming presence of indecision and guilt, for another moment.

“Are you gonna come back to bed or not?” Her voice is still hoarse from crying, even moreso now that it’s sleep-laden.

Of all the ways she could have worded it, of _course_ she said it like that.

Bora starts to panic, the guilt creeping up to choke her. She stands still, and Minji rolls over to look at her.

Her eyes are barely open, there’s still hair glued to her face from the tears of the night before, and her lips are set in a deep frown.

Bora laughs. “You look awful.”

(She also thinks she looks incredibly cute, but she couldn’t admit that to herself.)

Minji whines and shuts her eyes, her face scrunching in what Bora assumes is embarrassment. 

“I don’t care, come cuddle me.” Minji grumbles, and she turns on her side, leaving Bora to stare at her back. “Just act like you never got up.” 

Bora thinks about it. Minji makes a fair point— that if she wasn’t so worried about being a terrible mother that she would have just gone back to sleep anyway, still holding her.

Bora worries her lower lip between her teeth as she looks at her phone one last time. She has a couple of hours to spare, and she’s dead tired. She sighs and puts the ringer of her phone up all the way before walking to the other side of the bed and laying down. She looks over at Minji, who is very clearly suppressing a smile and feigning sleep, and she makes her mind up.

Bora shifts closer to her and pulls Minji into her once again, and Minji easily makes herself comfortable in Bora’s embrace.

Neither of them say a word, letting the moment of intimacy fade beyond explanation. Bora sighs and shuts her eyes, and Minji’s breathing slows as she eventually falls back asleep, and Bora is soon to follow.

…

They’re both awakened by a loud notification from Bora’s phone. Her eyes refuse to stay open but Bora groans and removes her arm from Minji’s waist to reach for her phone.

**_Miyeon (Shuhua’s Mom)_ **

_Hey! I have some errands to run later, so if you could drop by in an hour to pick up Gahyeon, that would be great._

_They had a good time :)_

Bora blinks and rubs some of the sleep out of her eyes as she stares at the message, her groggy brain half a step behind. Minji is awake, but still hasn’t moved from Bora’s side. She types out a quick message saying she would be there and puts her phone down and groans.

“Hmm? Mom stuff?” Minji asks, voice husky from sleep. 

“Mom stuff. Gotta pick up Gahyeon from her friend’s house in an hour.”

Minji hums and tugs Bora closer to her.

“I don’t wanna leave.”

Bora doesn’t want her to, either. This might be the last time she’s ever afforded an opportunity to do this, to hold Minji and pretend for a while.

Bora doesn’t think she can say anything to that without unearthing all of the repressed emotion that Minji makes her feel. It’s nothing Bora can deal with right now, and she doesn’t want to, not when Minji is in her arms and so open about wanting to stay there. Minji speaks for both of them, and they know that.

Bora pulls her closer for a second, reveling in whatever shallow comfort she can get before she retracts herself from Minji completely. 

“I can drop you off after or before I get her, it doesn’t matter to me.”

Minji looks at her, and her face is hard to read. It’s clear she’s thinking, and she takes a deep breath before speaking.

“What if we took the girls to the park?”

Bora’s eyebrows knit together. “Huh? Yeri and Gahyeon?”

Minji smiles. “Yeah. It’ll give us a chance to talk about everything a little more, and I think they should meet.”

Bora clears her throat and thinks about it for a moment. She _definitely_ doesn’t wanna leave Minji yet (she never does, really), and Minji keeps coming up with convenient excuses to lengthen their time together, to which Bora has no complaints.

“Sure.”

Minji hums in contentment as she stretches out her limbs, a yawn escaping her as she rolls out her neck.

“I had a feeling you’d say yes.”

Bora rolls her eyes and shifts to stand up, putting her hands on her hips as she looks down at Minji on the bed.

“You didn’t know that for sure.”

Minji laughs and sits up. “I did. We’re like the same person.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Well, I suggested it because I didn’t want to leave you yet, and I’m assuming you agreed because you feel the same way.”

Bora tilts her head and thinks about conceding, but changes her mind. “No, I just need some fresh air. You drive me insane.”

Minji laughs loudly and shakes her head. “You just proved my point, Bora.” 

She stands from her side of the bed and walks over to her. The second Minji is in arm’s reach she cups a hand to the side of Bora’s face and leans in. Their lips are so close that Bora stops breathing, feeling like if she moves even a little her impulse will get the best of her and override the very weak resolve she has: the resolve that she’s been so diligently trying to build- only for Minji to shatter it in a single movement.

Minji looks down to Bora’s lips, and drags her eyes up Bora’s face achingly slowly, stopping at her eyes and shooting her a devilish smile when she sees the poignant blush on her cheeks. 

“You drive me insane too.”

And with that, Minji drops her hand and begins to walk away. “Hey, I’m gonna text Jongin and tell him to have Yeri ready, alright? What time should I say we’ll be there?”

What a slap in the face. Bora tries to control the jealousy that bubbles at the pit of her stomach. She has absolutely no reason to be, but she can’t help but feel like Minji is still playing with her emotions.

  
“Minji?”

She stops and turns around. “Yeah?”

“What was that?” Her voice is shaky, somewhat from anger and somewhat from the fear coursing through her at what Minji’s response will be.

Minji furrows her eyebrows. “What, me saying that you drive me insane?”

“And the weird-” Bora doesn’t know how to word it, all she knows is that she feels cheated and guilty and jealous.

Minji’s eyebrow raises. “Bora? I wouldn’t lie to you. Everything I say to you, everything I do, the things I share with you, they’re all true. You’re the person I trust the most, as crazy as that is to admit.” She pauses. “I want to spend time with you, I want to get to know you, and the things I _have_ to deal with in my personal life don’t reflect how I feel about you as a person. This isn’t some-” Minji starts floundering for words, gesturing wildly with her hands “-you’re not just someone I randomly decided to open up to. This isn’t nothing to me, you aren’t nothing to me.”

“It just feels wrong.”

“Why? We aren’t doing anything wrong. We’re friends, Bora.”

Those last three words hit like a blow to the chest. 

“Then why do you keep giving me mixed signals? You just acted like you were gonna kiss me.” Bora seethes, unable to control the wave of emotions that threaten to drown her. 

“What I wanted to do and what I’m keeping myself from doing happen to be the same thing, Bora.”

With that, Minji leaves the room, and Bora is dumbfounded.

_She wanted to..?_

In all honesty, Bora should probably be more focused on everything _else_ Minji had just said, but she can’t seem to wrap her mind around the fact that Minji just insinuated that she wanted to. Kiss. Her. Bora runs a hand through her hair, unable to get her brain functioning enough to move or plan her next steps. 

“Bora, honey, you never told me what time would be okay.” Minji shouts from the living room.

Bora shakes herself out of her stupor and walks out of her bedroom to lean on the doorframe and stare at Minji.

“Minji, you can’t just say stuff like that.”

“I can’t ask what time we have to pick up my daughter?” Minji says, her eyebrows furrowed and it’s clear she’s genuinely confused.

“No! That you said you wanted to, you know, like-”

“Kiss you? I do.”

“You have a husband. A family. A KID.” Bora says, exasperated. “You can’t be-”

“Bora. With all due respect you have absolutely no place telling me what I can and can’t do.” Minji sighs as she sets down her purse and sits on the couch. “Look. Nothing is gonna happen, okay, but that doesn’t mean I don’t entertain the thought every once in a while.”

“The thought of _WHAT?_ ”

Minji rolls her shoulders back, like she’s getting frustrated. “I don’t know, Bora, okay! I don’t know. I have enough shit going on in my life right now, and I don’t have the energy to fight with you.”

Bora takes a deep breath, willing the frustration away, because in all honesty she doesn’t have the energy to argue either.

“Okay.” Bora says, audibly stepping down but not sure what to say next.

“You act like you’re not interested either, Bora.”

“Not interested in being a homewrecker, no.” Bora scoffs.

“Then don’t be.” Minji says softly.

Bora crosses her arms.

“Can you just be blunt, Minji? I can’t do all of this back and forth.”

“Wait for me, then.” 

There’s a long pause as Bora tries to knock that thought into her head. The silence is thick in the air.

  
“To divorce your husband?”

Minji bites her lip. “Yeah.”

“I think you should sit on that a little more, Minji.”

“Bora-” Minji starts.

“I’m not saying that to be condescending or anything either, Minji. It’s just-” Bora sighs and walks over to sit on the couch next to Minji.

“Can I tell you something?”

Minji nods. “Go ahead.”

“Alright, well.” Bora runs a hand through her hair. “Uh.. When I was a kid, I came home one day and my parents were like, screaming at each other. Like _loud_ , violent, I was scared out of my mind kinda screaming.” She chews on the inside of her cheek before working up the courage to keep talking. “And, uh, apparently my dad cheated on my mom. She kicked him out after that and I haven’t seen him since.”

“Bora, I’m so sorry.” 

Bora swears she can _see_ the gears in Minji’s head turning. “So that’s why you’re so… hesitant?”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna do anything like he did, I can’t be a homewrecker, I can’t be a mistress, Minji. I can’t do it.” Bora’s voice cracks as her throat tightens. “It’s just _fuck_ , I’ve been trying to keep things at the back of my head because I feel so fucking guilty about this.”

“But the situations are different though, too, Bora. We haven’t done anything at all, and god, I’m a lesbian trapped in a straight marriage.”

“It’s still cheating.”

Minji blinks at her, and she tries to shift the conversation back a little. “What happened after that?”

“Like I said, I never saw him again, and my mom was never really the best. I basically raised myself from then on, and it was fucking miserable.”

Minji hums. “I understand where you’re coming from, now. This must have been awful for you, Bora, I’m sorry. I’m sure I didn’t make it easier.”

Bora sighs. “It’s just, you have no idea how much the idea of marriage and family are warped to me. If I was married, and in that hypothetical I had a kid with them, I would do anything to make sure we’d be happy. I know it’s not as simple as that, but I would fight till my last breath for my family, for the people I care about. I guess it’s just hard for me to see your side of things, as much as I’m really trying.”

“Can I explain, then?”

“I’d appreciate it, yeah.”

“I’ve known Jongin since we were kids. I was basically forced into that marriage when I was eighteen, because I didn’t know what else to do and I was too scared to speak up for myself. We did everything the ‘right’ way, all of that, but I was never happy. Never once in my life did I ever have feelings for him. We had Yeri just because it was what we were ‘supposed to do,’ and that’s the only reason we’re a-” Minji cringes, “-family. I love Yeri with my entire being, obviously, but my marriage is an entirely different story. God, Bora, it’s fucking torture. I hate waking up knowing _he’s_ married to me.”

Minji takes a deep breath before continuing. “And I could never piece it together until I met you. Everything just seemed off, seemed so wrong, but I dealt with it because everyone else was fine with it. No one cared about me. I didn’t care about me, either. But I met you and it just…”

“Made sense?” Bora finishes.

“Yeah. I realized a lot, because of you. So, uh.” Minji rubs nervously at the back of her neck. “I don’t know what’s next for me, or what I have to do. I understand if you don’t even want to talk anymore, I promise, but I just know I can’t do this anymore. I have to do something for me, for once.”

“You want a divorce?”

Minji laughs weakly. “Bora, do you hear yourself? I’m gay. Married to a man. It’s not gonna work.”

“I know, Minji. It’s just… it’s not as simple as that.”

“Bora, I know that. I have to do it, and I’m _going_ to do it, but what I’m saying here is you can either accept that this is where I’m at in my life right now, or we can end things here, politely, and move on with our lives.”

Bora sighs and busies herself with counting the individual threads of her carpet. Of course, she wants to stay in Minji’s life. The real question Bora poses to herself is can she handle this on top of the stresses in her own life? Is she really gonna wait around for a married woman?

“What do you want to happen? Like, your ideal scenario.” Bora says.

Minji licks her lips before talking, waiting a moment to collect her thoughts. “My ideal scenario… I divorce my husband, figure out all of the mess that comes along with that, and-” She looks at Bora, and she swears this is the first time she’s ever seen Minji hesitate, “-and, you’ll have been with me the entire time. And then we can finally, _finally_ figure out whatever we have, here.”

She chews on her lip, and her speaking quickens. “I know that’s a lot to ask and I understand if you don’t think it’s worth it.”

Everything in Bora is telling her to leave while Minji has given her the chance. She makes a split second decision, but deep down, Bora’s known her answer for a while. Being rational is the last thing Bora worries about when Minji is the only person her heart’s called out for this strongly, when Minji is asking her to be there for her. When Minji _wants_ Bora to be there for her. Bora wants that, too.

Bora wants what Minji brings to her life. She knows it’s not gonna be easy, that it’s gonna _hurt_ , but when Minji is the journey _and_ the destination, nothing else matters. Minji feels like something Bora’s never felt before, and she’s willing to chase that feeling towards the ends of the earth.

“You’re worth it to me, Minji. I told you last night, we’d figure it out together and I meant it.”

“Are you sure?”

“As long as you understand that I refuse to act on anything. Nothing can happen between us Minji, and we’re already toeing the line.”

There’s a long silence, and Minji nods and takes in what Bora had said.

“Can I still flirt with you?” There’s a ghost of a smile that tugs at the corners of her lips, and Bora laughs for the first time since the conversation has started.

“I don’t think you have it in you to stop.”

Minji laughs at that, and it’s relieving to have dissipated the tension in the air. “I really don’t, not when you’re just so-”

“Hot?”

Minji grins. “Exactly.”

“Well, it takes a milf to know a milf.”

Minji scoffs. “That’s really the best compliment you could give me?”

Bora raises her eyebrows. “Minji, I think you are the most gorgeous and attractive woman I have met in my entire life, and on top of that, you’re funny, caring, sweet, and so, so-”

“Go on.” Minji says, a smug smile on her face. 

“Annoying.” Bora finishes.

Minji laughs, and Bora’s heart hammers in her ears when she sees the tinge of pink dusting Minji’s cheeks. 

“I guess I deserved that one.”

“You absolutely did. By the way, you can tell Jongin 12:30 is fine, and do you wanna use my shower and change? You still look a mess from last night.” Bora teases.

Minji rolls her eyes. “I wish the reason for that last part was different.” Minji says, and laughs when Bora gasps in response. “But yeah, please, I feel gross.”

“Alright, hold on I’ll get everything ready for you while you text him.” Bora says.

She stands from the couch and begins walking back to her room, and is halfway through the door before she’s interrupted.

“Bora?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” Minji says, her voice hushed, and Bora can immediately tell the brevity of her words extends far beyond what she says.

“Of course, Minji.”

…

The rest of the morning slips away quickly, and before she knows it, Bora is frantically hopping around her house trying to collect everything she needs. She’s in the kitchen packing some snacks when the sound of footsteps alerts her to Minji’s presence.

  
“Hey.” Minji says.

Bora turns around and looks Minji up and down, trying to keep it as brief and undetectable as possible.

“Hey, you. Nice outfit.”

She has on one of Bora’s oversized sleep shirts (it fits Minji perfectly, though), and some random pair of biker shorts Bora had found in her drawer.

Minji smiles at her. “I think I look great. Young, even.”

Bora laughs. “They say you’re only as old as you feel, so let me ask Minji, how old do you feel?”

Minji’s eyes dart to take in Bora, who’s wearing a pink blouse and jeans. Nothing crazy, just something casual, but it clearly draws Minji’s eye regardless.

She bites her lip before her lips widen into a sly grin. “Do you want me to answer this like I hadn’t seen you yet today, or after I just got a _good_ look at you?”

Bora’s jaw drops. “And what are you implying there, Minji?”

She shrugs. “You have to tell me which option you’d rather hear.”

“Both.”

“Well, I usually feel like the normal 36-year-old I always am, but today? Feeling like a teenage boy.”

Bora laughs. “You can’t think I look _that_ good. I know I’m hot, but really? You’re just flattering me.”

“I’m not, Bora. I mean it. You’re… so gorgeous.” She says, and it’s like all of the fabricated confidence evaporates.

Somehow, that makes Bora so much more flustered than the blunt comments. She smiles shyly at Minji and brushes at some stray strands of hair in her face.

“Alright, alright, enough. You’re making me blush.” Bora pauses to smile at her. “Thank you though, Minji. Now get over here and help me put some goddamn Goldfish in these bags before I lose my mind.”

Minji lets out a loud laugh and walks over to where Bora is stationed at her kitchen island, trying desperately to pour Goldfish into a series of plastic bags, being incredibly unsuccessful and spilling them everywhere.

Minji immediately holds one of the bags open for her so she can get the crackers in, and they fill a few bags for their daughters before Bora puts down the container.

“God, that was so much easier.”

Minji laughs. “You know they have those little-” She starts making hand motions, like she’s trying to draw it out for her. “-those, they’re the, UGH! They’re like the same bags but they stand up on their own.”

“No way.”

  
“YES!” Minji chirps. “They’re so cool.. I’ll bring you some next time, they’re a life changer!”

Bora zips up the bags of crackers before heading to the fridge to grab a couple of clementines. “I would love that, thank you.”

“I have a whole collection of them, too. Does Gahyeon like anything in particular? I have some nice ones with ladybugs or-” Minji gasps. “Oh my god! I’ll bring you some of the beeswax wraps I have, they’re like the same thing as the bags but _cooler_ and better for the environment.”

Bora peeks her head out from the fridge door to look at Minji, and she can’t help the wide smile that spreads on her face.

  
“You’re so cute. Yeah, you’ll have to show me them.”

Minji’s face goes red immediately. “Sorry, I was rambling.”

“Don’t be sorry, I was having fun listening. Where do you get them?”

The momentary regret leaves Minji’s face and she immediately lights up. “Oh! I order them online, and the bags I just find wherever.”

Bora hums and finally stands from her fridge, handing a few clementines to Minji. “You think you can carry these?”

“Of course. I’m capable enough.”

“I sure hope so.” Bora quips. “Are you ready to go?”

Minji nods. “Yeah, let me just get my stuff and I’ll be ready.”

Bora hums as she packs away the snacks, and Minji leaves the kitchen and comes back a moment later with both of their purses slung over her shoulder.

“Oh, thanks I’ll take that-”

Minji shakes her head. “Watch, I’ll prove how capable I am. Two purses _and_ a handful of clementines. Easy work.” 

Bora scoffs at her and they walk together towards the front door, Minji walking out first as Bora lags behind to lock the door.

“Hey, Bora what if-” Minji starts, and just as Bora is turning around, Minji trips on one of the pavers leading up to the front door (the loose one that Bora always avoids), and _barely_ recovers. 

“FUCK!” 

She trips forward one more step, the clementines flying everywhere as she uses her hands to stabilize herself on the ground, catching herself at the last moment.

Bora loses her composure the second Minji stumbles. She’s laughing so hard there’s tears in her eyes, and she’s gasping for breath when Minji starts to laugh, too.

“So much for that.”

“Fuck, Minji, you’re so…”

“Please don’t finish that.”

Minji stands up and brushes some of the dirt off of her pants before dejectedly collecting all of the oranges scattered around the yard. Bora laughs even harder as Minji sighs picking up each one, uttering a string of unintelligible curses as she bends down to grab them.

“You’re too funny.” Bora finally gets out. Minji rolls her eyes and groans, and the blush on her cheeks is unmistakable. “Here.”

Bora grabs the clementines out of her hand and shoves them into one of the purses on Minji’s shoulder. She raises an eyebrow at Minji before reaching out for her hands. 

  
“Let me see.” Bora says, inspecting the palms of Minji’s hands to make sure she hadn’t cut herself or otherwise gotten injured in her half-fall. Bora tsks as she runs her fingers over Minji’s palm, it’s nothing serious but her skin is red and angry and clearly sore to the touch, if Minji’s wince was any indication. “Oh you poor baby…”

Bora looks up at her, and Minji looks taken aback. “Hey, stay here, I’m gonna run in and get some antibiotic and a band-aid, okay?”

Minji’s eyebrows furrow and she frantically shakes her head. “No, it’s okay it doesn’t hurt-”

Bora can’t tell if she’s being so reluctant out of embarrassment, or out of the extra attention she’s being given. Either way, Bora ignores it.

“Let me take care of you, Minji. It’s no big deal.” She says, and immediately turns on her heel to go back inside. Within less than a minute, she’s grabbed everything she needs and is already back outside, trying to hide the way her breathing is labored from running.

“Let me see it.”

Minji says nothing, just holds out her palms for Bora. She has a very minor brush burn on the heel of her hands, so Bora applies the tiniest bit of antibiotic and smooths a bandaid over it as best she can.

“Better?”

Minji’s face is still bright red. “Yeah.”

Bora grins at her. “What? You like getting babied, huh?”

Minji’s eyes widen for a second before she tries to hide her expression, but Bora knows she’s hit the nail on the head. Minji awkwardly coughs and looks away.

“Only when you do it.”

“I’ll make a note of that in the archive of Minji-related information in my brain.” Bora teases.

Minji rolls her eyes and slowly takes back her hands from Bora’s.

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”

...

Reluctantly, Bora and Minji get into the car, and make quiet conversation for most of the ride. Bora can’t stop thinking about how shocked Minji was at her willingness to take care of her, and all it does is spur a rush of worrisome thoughts. Bora gets a little too caught up thinking about it, and interrupts Minji at a stoplight.

“And we were talking about the imagery in the novel-”

“Minji, he doesn’t hit you, right?”

“What?”

Bora sets her jaw and her fingers claw at her steering wheel anxiously. “You heard me.”

“Bora…” Minji pauses. “Where is that coming from?”

Bora whips her head to face Minji. “Does he?”

Minji shakes her head, and her eyebrows furrow together out of confusion. “No.”

“You aren’t lying?”

“I’m not.”

The light turns green and Bora has to pry her eyes off of Minji. She believes her, but Bora can’t help the weird pit at the bottom of her stomach that won't go away.

“Why do you ask?” Her voice is quiet.

“I worry about you, that’s all. I just don’t trust him.”

Minji hums. “He’s.... He’s never laid a hand on me or anything. We’ve gotten into a few fights before, but nothing crazy. We mostly just keep to ourselves now.”

Bora thinks about what to say, but Minji keeps talking.

“I mean, we’re basically only married out of courtesy at this point. He cheats on me, I’m gay and don’t care, we don’t really speak to each other when we don’t have to, and we coparent. There’s no love there, never has been.” She sucks in a deep breath and sighs. “I mean he eventually stopped trying to make things work, you know? We just put on a show for everyone, because it’s easiest for us both. No questions, we just have to pretend. But I’m tired of it.”

“I see.” Bora looks over at her for a second. “You have to do what’s right for you and Yeri, Minji. Please just keep her in mind, too.”

“I know, Bora. She deserves to grow up with parents that love each other, and that love her.”

That sentence makes Bora’s brain short-circuit. How had she not even considered that before? She’s always been too fixated on the loveless to focus on the _love._ Minji brings that out of her– the optimism, a new perspective. 

“You’re right.” There’s a bit of silence just as Bora is pulling into Miyeon’s driveway. “That just makes me wonder, do you think Gahyeon is gonna be okay? There’s only so much love I have to give, ya know?”

Minji laughs softly. “You’re being insane. You are one of the most loving people I have ever met. She’s gonna be just fine.”

Bora puts the car in park and turns to look at her. “I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am, now go inside and go get her. I'm sure she can’t wait to see you.”

“Be right back.” Bora smiles at her before she exits the car.

…

Minji was right, Gahyeon had come running out of the front door to greet Bora the second it had been opened. Bora gets the rundown from Miyeon (thankfully they both behaved themselves) before saying their goodbyes, and Bora and Gahyeon start walking back to her car. 

Bora had been agonizing over what to say to Gahyeon about the playdate the entire ride over, but she figures it’s just better to be honest.

“Gahyeon, honey, I brought my friend Minji with me. She has a daughter, Yeri, if you know her.”

She doesn’t hesitate for even a second. “Yeah, I do! We play together at recess. She’s really funny.” 

Bora hums and ruffles Gahyeon’s hair, extremely relieved that they seem to have met and are at least aware of each other. “Good, I’m glad to hear that. Did you have fun with Shuhua?”

“Yup! We played Roblox a lot.”

Bora sighs and makes a mental note to check on her parental controls one more time, just because she knows how smart Gahyeon is. Sneaky little opportunist, her kid is. Bora knows she gets it from her, and she figures the resulting headaches are some kind of karmic bite in the ass.

“Good, honey, I’m happy you had a good time. Me and Minji were talking, did you-”

Bora stops talking when they get closer to the car, because Minji is on the phone and looks incredibly upset. Bora and Minji make extremely awkward eye contact, and Minji averts her eyes and keeps talking, so Bora busies herself with pretending to check Gahyeon’s sleepover bag to give Minji a few minutes of privacy. 

Bora helps Gahyeon into the backseat and puts her bag in the trunk, avoiding making eye contact with Minji until she settles into the driver's seat.

“Uh-” Bora begins, “Gahyeon, sweetheart, this is Minji. Yeri’s mom.”

“Hi miss!” Gahyeon chirps.

“Hi honey.” Minji says, a small smile on her face before she looks to Bora and any composure she had maintained for Gahyeon’s sake disappears. The atmosphere is tense, and Minji looks like she’s holding back tears.

  
“So, that was Jongin. I-Uh, I can’t do today. I’m really sorry.”

Bora narrows her eyes in anger for a moment, fuming thinking about what he possibly could have said to make Minji so upset before she forces herself to push it to the back of her mind. 

“No worries, Minji. There’s always another day, yeah?”

Bora looks to the backseat. “And you’re probably-”

She was going to finish that with “tired,” but Gahyeon has already begun making herself comfortable in the backseat, about to take a nap. Bora laughs to herself before shaking her head and returning her attention to Minji.

“It’s okay.” She rests a hand on Minji’s thigh. “Someday, we will.”

It’s vague, but Bora chose her words carefully. Minji seems to understand.

“Okay.”

The drive to Minji’s house is silent. They chose not to talk because Gahyeon seemed to be sleeping, and even if she wasn’t, Bora wouldn’t know what to say anyway. A few times, she catches Minji staring at her from the corner of her eye, to which she responds by shooting her a raised eyebrow and a grin. It lightens the mood a bit, but Bora can tell Minji is still upset.

They eventually pull into her driveway, and both women sit in silence for a moment. It’s still midday, and as usual, the sun seems to be catering to Minji’s every feature. Bora stares at her, the curves of her face and the way the sunlight seems to drip off of her like amber. Bora wants to touch her. To caress her face, to card her fingers through her hair, to show her any kind of appreciation she could.

Bora, against her gut feeling, does it anyway, and brushes a piece of Minji’s hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear before dragging fingers down her jaw. The entire time, Minji looks at her with something behind her eyes that Bora can’t quite place.

“Please take care of yourself, okay? I know we’re both busy, but I’m here for you, always.” Bora finally says.

Minji bites her lip and nods, and Bora sees tears well in her eyes for a brief moment before Minji leans forward to wrap her in a rather awkward hug. Bora hugs her back, and shuts her eyes to take her in for one last time. 

Minji pulls away. “I’ll see you soon, I promise. We’ll do something.”

Bora smiles at her. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Minji rolls her eyes and begins gathering her belongings. “Yeah, yeah. You can’t go five minutes without talking to me.”

“And you’re complaining?”

“Not in the slightest.”

  
  
Minji is about to get out of the car when she completely stops. She looks at Bora for a moment and grabs her hand. Minji hesitates for a moment, but leans down to place a soft kiss to the back of Bora’s hand, not daring to break eye contact.

“Thank you for everything.” Minji pauses. “I hope that’ll do for now.”

Bora’s heart feels like it's about to burst out of her chest, the adrenaline rendering her completely speechless. She desperately tries to form words, but by then, it seems Minji’s confidence has worn thin, too.

“Bye, Bora.” Minji smiles at her.

“Bye, Minji.”

The car door shuts, and Bora watches her walk inside. She looks back a few times, and shoots Bora a shy smile, her face tinted with a subtle blush, before walking back inside. It leaves Bora feeling like a black hole.

  
Leaving Minji gets harder and harder every time, but she can’t find the courage within her to admit why. She buries the feeling deep within and drives home in silence.

…

Bora’s next promise of seeing Minji lies in Tuesday’s book club meeting. It’s only a few days away, but Bora can’t stop thinking about it, about Minji.

  
She’s devastated when Minji cancels it, and on Monday night nonetheless.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_Hey. Letting everyone know but book club is a no-go this week. Sorry._

The message seems odd. Devoid of Kim Minji’s trademark bubbliness and teasing. Bora frowns as she reads it.

_No worries. See you soon?_

**_Kim Minji_ **

_Definitely._

Looking at that message feels like she’s reading a work email and not a text from the woman she’s been fawning over so hopelessly. She furrows her eyebrows together and wills it out of the forefront of her mind.

…

Another week passes with no sign of Minji. Bora is starting to get worried, really. It’s rare to not hear from her at all, and for it to be an entire week is saying something. Even on top of her incredibly busy schedule, Bora knows something is off.

That Tuesday is when Bora hears from her again.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_No book club again. Sorry._

_It’s alright, Minji._

_Are you okay?_

Bora doesn’t get a text back. 

…

Bora tries not to think about it. 

(She doesn’t do a great job.)

It’s Thursday when she tries texting Minji again.

_Minji, are you alright?_

She gets a response a few hours later.

**_Kim Minji_ **

_Just really busy._

_I’m sorry, Bora._

Again, it’s out of character for her. Bora puts her phone down and sighs, rubbing her temples as she redirects her attention back to her computer at work. She uselessly clicks at a few things on the screen, too distracted to really get anything of merit accomplished.

  
She looks at the clock in the corner of the screen, 4:35. Only a few more minutes and she can go home.

Bora lets out a deep sigh and rests her forehead on her desk for a moment before she gets a knock at the door. It’s her supervisor, Yubin.

“Hey. What’s up bigshot?”

Bora laughs. “Too much and nothing at all.”

She nods. Yubin isn’t a woman of many words, but she’s a great boss and incredibly intelligent. Bora looks up to her immensely.

She hangs in Bora’s doorway for a second longer.

“It looks like you’re not being very productive.”

Bora’s eyes go wide. “I- I just have a few more revisions to make and-”

Yubin laughs and waves a dismissive hand at her. “It’s fine, Bora, really. Why don’t you go home early?”

Bora sighs in relief. “You really had me for a second. Thanks, boss-lady.”

Yubin laughs and nods her head in assent. “Have a good one.”

Bora is somehow less relieved that she’s been dismissed early. It’s just more time to worry and overthink.

…

Yubin’s gesture of kindness turns out to be a blessing, because Bora picks up Gahyeon from school and finds out that she has a _huge_ art project due tomorrow. Bora has to exercise all her patience to not get too angry with her, because at the end of the day she’s just a kid, but _god_ is she a forgetful one.

  
Bora spends the rest of her day driving between different stores in search of supplies and then the rest of her night helping her daughter assemble her posterboard. For a second, Bora wonders if Minji is just as busy with Yeri’s project. The thought leaves her mind when she zones out and gets hot glue on her fingertip.

“SHIT.”

Bora looks at Gahyeon. “Don’t say that.”

“Oww, oh my _god_.” Bora whines, and shakes out her hand like it would help ease any of the pain.

“Are you okay mommy?”

Bora sighs as she walks to the kitchen to place her finger under a stream of cold water.

“Yeah, I’m fine honey.”

Bora should have known that the burn on her finger was an indication of how the rest of her night was gonna go. Gahyeon eventually falls asleep at the kitchen table in the middle of coloring something, and Bora doesn’t have the heart to wake her up and make her finish.

Bora just picks her up and tucks her in before returning to the table and finishing up what she needed to. In all honesty, it was a terrible lesson to be teaching her daughter, but the distraction serves her well anyway.

The more she has to color in and put glitter all over this made up country’s flag, the less she has to think about Minji, to wonder if she’s okay.

Bora puts the finishing touch on the project and lets out a loud groan before stretching out her back. She’s definitely gonna be sore tomorrow. She stands back for a moment and takes in her work, nodding proudly before stretching out one more time.

She picks up her phone, and it’s nearly midnight. She has work at 9 a.m..

Bora runs an anxious hand through her hair before shaking her head. She still needs to shower and get ready for tomorrow and-

Her phone rings.

It’s Minji.

Bora picks up the phone without a second thought.

“Minji?”

“ _Hey.”_

“What’s up? Everything okay?”

A long silence from Minji’s end.

_“Can you come over?”_

Bora sighs and looks at her watch. She doesn’t know why she even bothers to mull it over.

“Minji, I can’t just leave Gahyeon here. Let me see if Yoohyeon can come over. Can I call you back?”

_“Of course. Bye, Bora.”_

“I’ll call you right back. Bye, Minji.”

Bora groans and dials Yoohyeon’s number and she picks up within seconds.

_“Yo. What’d ya need?”_

“Can you come over for like, maybe an hour or two at most? Gahyeon is already asleep, I just have to leave the house really quick and I don’t wanna leave her alone. I’ll double your rate.”

_“You got it boss. Be there in 5.”_

“Door’s open, just come in.”

Bora hangs up the phone and rushes to the bathroom to try and clean off the glitter glue and marker that stains her fingers. She spends an obscene amount of time scrubbing at her skin before she looks up at herself in the mirror, unsure of who’s looking back at her. She’s really about to drop everything, to sacrifice sleep, to go to Minji. 

Minji, who hasn’t told her anything. Minji, who simply asked for Bora’s company. 

Bora, who uproots her entire life for her without a second thought.

The water runs for a second as she stares at herself, at the bags under her eyes that are the manifestation of stress and worry and _life_ that has accumulated over the last weeks. She thinks about it for a moment. Is Minji worth this?

Bora looks at the reflection of herself, but all she sees is Minji. 

Her mirror.

If that was _her_ , she'd want Minji to be there for her. She knows that loneliness, and if she can do anything at all to alleviate that feeling for Minji, she will. 

So she does.

Yoohyeon opens the door and quietly announces herself and Bora hears the couch creak under her weight. Bora exits the bathroom and shoots her a smile as she grabs her purse.

“Thanks so much Yooh, you’re the best.”

Yoohyeon doesn’t even bother to look at her as she flips through channels on the TV. “I know, I know. Can I rent a movie on here?”

Bora laughs. “Yeah, go ahead. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, so make yourself comfortable.”

“Yup. Drive safe, Bora.”

“Thanks, Yooh.”

…

Bora sits in the seat of her car and takes a deep breath before dialing Minji again on the hands-free option.

“Hello?”

_“Hey.”_

“I’m on my way over, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

There’s a pause.

_“Okay. I’ll see you then.”_

Minji hangs up without even saying goodbye.

…

At this point, Bora has absolutely no idea what to expect. For some reason, as she stares at Minji’s door, she can’t gather the courage to knock, so she texts her that she’s here.

She waits outside for a few moments, until Minji opens the door. She’s visibly disheveled, but it doesn’t look like she’s been crying, thankfully. She just looks empty.

“Hey, you.”

Minji cracks the slightest of smiles. “Hey, come in.”

Bora steps inside and Minji looks her up and down in a way that seems incredibly unfitting for the mood she’s in. Bora narrows her eyes at her but doesn’t say anything.

“Do you mind if we go to the guest room? I feel more comfortable there.”

“Whatever you want, Minji. I came here for you.”

Minji hums and doesn’t say anything else. She starts walking to the guest bedroom and Bora follows her, heart pounding out of rhythm because something still feels wrong, and Minji refuses to speak. 

Minji steps into the room and holds the door open for Bora, and the second she shuts the door, she pins Bora against it.

Bora wraps her in a hug, assuming that’s what she meant to do, but Minji’s hands find a place on her waist, fingertips barely ghosting over her skin and moving up ever so slightly under her shirt.

“Minji, what the fuck?” Bora pushes her off for a second, and the odd hollowness behind her eyes from earlier is replaced with blown out pupils that graze over Bora hungrily.

“What’s up with you?”

“I can’t take it anymore, Bora. I need you.” Minji says, and she’s pressing her body weight on Bora again.

Bora, unwilling to believe Minji means it in _that_ way, especially after all the forewarning she had given and the boundaries she had set, sighs and lets Minji’s body rest on her own without giving up a fight. 

Her hands rest on Minji’s back, doing her best to hold her there, but Minji’s hands grip Bora’s hips, and her head, where it lays on Bora’s shoulder, starts to shift closer to her neck.

“Please, Bora.” Minji rasps, hot breath fanning out over the column of Bora’s neck as she starts to press a kiss there.

“MINJI!” Bora shoves her off with all the force in her body, because if she didn’t push her away, Bora knew she’d give in too, because _god_ does she want Minji. It’s everything _else_ in their lives that’s getting in the way. Her hands tremble with lust and anger as she stares at Minji, who’s staring back at her, shocked. Like she’s finally woken up from whatever trance she had been in.

It takes a moment to set in, but now that Bora knows that Minji had called her over for this, this _one_ purpose, she’s enraged.

Minji is red. To Bora, she’s always red: the kind of crimson that can only be associated with passion and vibrance and renewal. 

Minji is red. She’s the licks of fire searing through Bora’s veins, the ones burning her alive and filling her with rage and the lingering burn of betrayal. 

Minji is red. Minji is all-consuming. Minji is too far gone. 

“Are you FUCKING kidding me? You really called me over because you wanted to fuck me instead of deal with whatever is clearly going on in your life?” Bora combs her hands through her hair out of frustration and Minji stares at her, with nothing to say. “ _Fuck_ , Minji. I can’t believe this. I came out of my way to make sure you were okay and the second I get here you’re fucking _all_ over me. Didn’t I tell you I wouldn’t do this?”

“I- I just..”

“I do not want to hear a _word_ you have to say to me. This is unbelievable. I have a JOB, a KID, Minji. I drop everything and rush over here in the middle of the night only for you to treat me like a fucking hookup.”

The anger just keeps flowing, and at some point, Bora starts feeling the tears drip down her face. “How could you do this to me? To treat me like-”

Bora is interrupted by the chime of the security system, the one that alerts them both that someone had just come home.

Bora, finally a little shaken out of her blind rage, looks at Minji, whose eyes are wide and tears streak down her face as she tries to speak.

“Please. He can’t see you here.” Minji begs, her voice weak. 

Bora’s jaw drops and she finishes what she was trying to say earlier. “-Like a fucking mistress. That’s all I am to you, huh? This is over.”

“Bora _please_ , I’m so sorry, I just-”

Bora doesn’t even respond to her, just turns on her heel and makes a break for the door to the backyard to avoid Jongin, who seems to have gone upstairs already. Bora’s tears aren’t stopping anytime soon, and neither is the faint pulse of rage searing through her veins.

Bora opens the door and walks outside and she hears Minji follow her.

“Minji, ENOUGH! I can’t believe you just did that to me.” Bora pauses to let out a sob. “After everything we talked about, after everything we’ve been through already.” Bora’s sadness dissolves into anger as she keeps talking. “Was that all some fucking game, some stupid distraction from your shitty life? Was that all I ever was to you? Free therapy and maybe at the end of the day you’d get to fuck me?” Bora is nearly shouting by now, not caring about who can hear her or what she’s saying.

“Bora it’s not like that and you know it-“ Minji says, though it’s incredibly hard to make out what she’s saying between sobs.

“No, Minji, it’s exactly like that. I told myself that it wasn’t, this whole time I told myself that there was something more but you just showed me what I really am to you. This is over.”

Minji’s hands are trembling from where they cover her mouth. The tears fall down her face endlessly and Bora hears a choked sob from her.

“Bora-“ Her voice shakes as her breathing gets more labored. 

“I’m serious, Minji. Don’t _ever_ talk to me again.” Bora spits out.

She knows she doesn’t mean it. She wants things to get better. She still wants Minji, whatever promise of maybe that lingered between them, but this was such a breach of trust and Bora feels like she's been harpooned in the chest. It hurts to look at her.

She turns around and storms out of the backyard’s fence gate, and starts running to her car when she hears just how loudly Minji has started sobbing. 

That’s when it hits her that this isn’t the first time she’s left Minji’s house crying.

Bora lets out a pathetic sob as she frantically tries to open the door of her car, pulling at the handle repeatedly until she realizes she hasn’t even unlocked it. 

“Oh my god, come ON.” She hisses, her hands trembling as she gets out her keys and finally pulls open the door and sits down as fast as possible. The jingle of metal on metal is the only sound Bora can hear, aside from the numbingly loud static playing in her head as she tries to fit the key in the ignition. She finally gets it in and puts her car in drive, wheels tearing against asphalt as her foot sits on the gas pedal like an anchor— leading to the abyss of endless open road in front of her as she cries so hard her vision blurs.

…

She drives for an hour straight in a bid to try and calm herself down. It does nothing, because after that long of incessantly crying, it just leaves her out of breath and her chest sore from how hard she’s been heaving. Everything feels heavy.

The absolute last thing she wants to do is go home and have to face Yoohyeon, so she pulls over in some random parking lot a few minutes away from her house and texts her to let her know she can leave.

Bora forces herself to breathe, because her shallow breaths are becoming even shallower and she can feel the hole in her chest getting bigger the more she thinks about everything. Her hands grip the steering wheel so hard her fingers tense up and lock, and she rests her forehead on the wheel and closes her eyes.

A few deep breaths later and Bora doesn’t feel like the world is squeezing in on her anymore, so she pulls out and finishes her drive home.

She comes back to a quiet house, Gahyeon still asleep and Yoohyeon long gone.

The silence is haunting today. The TV is off, there’s no loud music blaring from Gahyeon’s room, the air conditioner clicks and whirrs in the quiet. It’s unsettling, and Bora feels more tears steal out of the corners of her eyes as she stares at her empty home.

She thinks about how Minji was here, how just a few weeks ago Minji was standing exactly where she is, was sleeping in her bed and in her arms. 

Minji’s presence is like a ghost. A distant memory.

The thought makes Bora’s throat close up as she cries even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the outpouring of love on this fic has been absolutely insane. i never expected it to get this kind of reception and im humbled, overwhelmed, and so, so grateful. thank you guys so much.. i hope you all enjoyed and thank you SO much for all the comments... they really make my day!

**Author's Note:**

> i would absolutely LOVE to see your reactions and thoughts to this.. whether that's in the form of comments here or at my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/jiuphemisms) or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/jiuphemisms)! thanks so much for always reading my fics and showing so much love... it means the absolute world to me!!


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